


Chance Encounter: Junjou Optimist

by Rizhae



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Junjou Optimist, M/M, Non-Canon Relationship, Nowaki/ Misaki - Freeform, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-06
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-22 14:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/914229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rizhae/pseuds/Rizhae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a young man is wheeled into the hospital late one night with a stab wound, he somehow catches Nowaki's interest. How will this younger, abused boy affect Nowaki? What will their first chance encounter lead to? And why can't Nowaki get the image of Misaki out of his mind? ((Misaki X Nowaki, slight AU. Re-posting from fanfiction.net))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So, I originally posted this on fanfiction.net, and it got quite a bit of decent feedback on there so I figured, now that I have an account, why not post it on here too? Feedback/ comments are much appreciated! :D

Nowaki clearly remembered the first time he saw Misaki. The younger had been rolled into the hospital Nowaki worked at late one night, and was covered in blood that was beginning to congeal against his startlingly pale skin. Being a doctor, he was able to make the split- second observation that the boy had a very low chance of surviving whatever had happened.

He didn't think much of it at the time- he had his own duties as a pediatrician to take care of, and he trusted his fellow professionals to help the boy as best they could. He turned away, forcing himself to continue in the direction of his destination. However, for the rest of his shift his thoughts kept drifting back to the pale boy, whose hair had been matted against his forehead with sweat, and eyes that had been screwed shut against the world in agony.

It was around one in the morning when Nowaki finally finished everything he had to get done and was able to go home. He stumbled wearily in the direction of the hospital's entrance, and half-glanced into each of the rooms he passed along the way. He was barely registering what was in front of him until he passed one particular room and noticed the boy that he'd seem wheeled in earlier. He appeared much more relaxed at present, with his eyelids relaxed loosely over his eyes.

Curiosity overtook him, and he stepped into the room. He walked over to pick up the medical chart at the end of the young man's bed, flipping through until he found what he was looking for- the summary of what had happened to the man before him. "Found in apartment of Usami Akihiko, stab wound to lower stomach as well as fading bruises on neck and signs of repeated rape. Will wait for patient to regain consciousness before obtaining any additional information."

Nowaki looked down at the boy on the bed, whose breathing was shallow and irregular even in sleep, and there were evident dark circles under his eyes. Even though he had never actually talked to the boy- or, indeed, even seen him while conscious, he couldn't help feeling bad for the boy, Misaki Takahashi according to the charts, and wonder if there was more to the story than the doctors knew.

However, as it was getting hard to keep his eyes open and the world in focus by that point, he decided that it would be best to get home as soon as possible and sink into his warm, comfortable, inviting bed...

However, on his entire journey home, Nowaki was unable to get the image of the unconscious, injured boy out of his head.

Nowaki reached his apartment by about one forty-five in the morning, and was by that point so exhausted that he barely had the energy to stumble into his room and remove his work clothes before collapsing onto his bed, and falling asleep almost the minute his head hit the pillow.

By the time Nowaki awoke, it was nearly one o'clock in the afternoon. He was surprised, since he wasn't really the type to sleep for eleven hours straight, no matter how late he had been up the night before. He got up and took a quick shower, before giving in to his stomach and rummaging through his cupboards for something to eat.

Once he was done with that, he walked to the nearest branch library and took a seat in front of one of the public-use computers. He was still curious about the young man he had encountered the night before, and decided to do a bit of research. Misaki Takahashi... He typed the name into the computer's search engine, and was surprised to see little pop up besides that it was apparently the name of a main character from a relatively popular series of novels which, from the summaries he found online, seemed like some sort of gay erotica.

Deciding he wouldn't find anything useful based off of the name alone, he decided to try searching the other name that the boy's medical records had mentioned, an Usami Akihiko... Or was it Usagi? No, nobody's name would mean 'rabbit'... He searched it, and found out that the author (That had been mentioned on the boy's medical sheet) was well-known and had written many award-winning novels.

But, there must have been more to the story if Misaki had been found stabbed and bleeding to death in this man's apartment, something beyond the mild, collected man that he was generally portrayed as online. Nowaki sighed, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. What confused him most was that he had no idea why he cared for the boy so much- Nowaki reminded himself that he had never even talked with him, or even seen him with his eyes open. Something about the boy managed to fascinate him- something about the way he laid there, the pain clear on his face even in sleep.

Nowaki had an odd longing to see the boy awake- he wondered if the boy's eyes would be filled with deep. old pain or if they would be scared or panicked, disoriented because someone had hurt him. Although, if the hospital paperwork was right, it said that he had been raped multiple times. Nowaki didn't doubt that whatever kind of pain it would be, the young Misaki would feel the sharp sting of it when he awoke.

Misaki was completely disoriented when he woke up. He had no idea where he was, or what had happened, or why Usagi wasn't lying there still asleep, with one arm draped over him and holding him there. There was also a pain in his gut which flared up painfully when he tried to sit up, to the point of stars dancing in his vision. Suddenly, a flash of memory came back to him, and he pressed the heels of his hands into hie eyes until he was seeing stars yet again.

He'd been sitting at the dining room table in Usagi's condo, working on his much-detested English homework, when the silver-haired author returned. Misaki hadn't been sure where he had gone, but the smell of alcohol that followed his entrance made that clear enough. Misaki knew from experience that Usagi wasn't a pleasant drunk at all, and Misaki tended to be wary of his because of it.

Usagi stumbled over, grabbing Misaki's cheek and none too gently crashing his rancid-smelling lips against Misaki's. Misaki tried to wriggle away, to get away before Usagi did anything... unpleasant, but of course he didn't succeed. At one moment, Usagi loosened his grip slightly as he was trying to unbutton Misaki's shirt, and Misaki managed to escape, racing upstairs to his room almost before he could catch his footing.

Misaki locked the door behind him and had only barely gotten over his initial panic when Usagi somehow managed to burst through the locked door, babbling something about, "If I can't have my Misaki then nobody can have my Misaki..." The rest involved a knife to the gut, and watching as more blood than he even knew he had in him gushed to the carpet. As his eyes slipped closed, he vaguely saw a look of shock and realization cross over Usagi's blurring face...

Misaki wondered what had gotten into Usagi- true, he had always been possessive, but to go so far as to try to kill him? Misaki shuddered at the thought, which sent waves of pain through the wound in his stomach. He clenched his jaw, and tried to distract himself by wondering if the rays of pale light streaming through the window were those of sunset or dawn.

After staring for around fifteen minutes he decided it was getting a bit lighter, meaning that it was early morning. He was just debating over when a doctor would come to check on him when one did- a normal looking sort of person, she was wearing a lab coat over slightly business-y clothes.

Maybe if things had worked out differently, he might have found her attractive. But, much to his own dismay, he didn't find her particularly attractive at all. Not to say she wasn't pretty, with bright eyes and clear skin, but he felt absolutely no attraction towards her. Dammit, Usagi, you have turned me homo...

"So, how are you feeling?" she asked, picking up a clipboard that had apparently been hanging on the end of his bed.

"Um... okay, I guess, but what happened to Usag- I mean, Usami-san?" Misaki had nearly forgotten not to use that stupid nickname, since their 'relationship' (If it could really be called that) was strictly a secret.

"Don't worry about that- he's being detained, from what I've heard, and he won't be able to get to you again." The doctor apparently thought those words would reassure him- And maybe he was a bit relieved that Usagi couldn't come storming in at any moment, but... no matter how much he denied liking the man, he still had to admit that he wouldn't want to simply never see him again, no matter how stupid he felt even just thinking it. If he got locked up for attempted murder- well, Misaki needed to see him.

Misaki's thoughts didn't make much sense, even to him, so he decided to simply push them away. The doctor finished checking over him quickly enough, before leaving to check on other patients. Misaki lost himself in thought for a while, staring up at the paneled ceiling and trying to ingore the incessant beeping of a heart monitor next to him.

He was jerked suddenly out of his thoughts by someone in the hallway stopping outside his room. The man appeared to be a doctor, but the two things Misaki noticed first was his surprising height and presence, and the striking azure color of the man's eyes. Dark blue orbs met his own green ones, and for whatever reason, Misaki was unable to look away- although, the man continuing to stare back in awe may have been part of the reason why.


	2. Chapter Two

Misaki spent most of the next day staring at the walls, willing the wound in his gut to heal as quickly as possible so that he could get out, if only to be surrounded by something other than the color white and the smell of disinfectant. However, after a bit if thinking, he realized that he didn't really have anywhere to go once he was released. He could hardly return to Usagi's house, not after what had happened- If Usagi even continued to live there and wasn't put in jail for what he had done.

He could hardly go back to his brother, either- Takahiro had his own family to worry about, and Misaki wasn't about to invade on them. But where else could he go...? He didn't really have many close friends at school, at least not any that he knew well enough to stay with for an undetermined amount of time.

That dilemma occupied him for quite a while, and he still had no idea how to solve it when Nowaki entered his room at around five o'clock that evening. Misaki was a bit surprised by the odd timing, but figured that doctors were bound to have rather odd work hours.

However, the thought was pushed to the back of his mind almost instantly when Nowaki placed a paper bag on Misaki's nightstand. There was a bit of grease seeping through the bottom, and the salty smell was almost heavenly. Misaki gave his a questioning glance, which Nowaki answered with,

"I know how bad the hospital food is, so I took the liberty of grabbing you a burger on the way over."

"N-Nowaki-san, you didn't have to-" Nowaki cut him off.

"I know I didn't. But I wanted to, and it's not a big deal, really." Nowaki smiled at how flustered Misaki had gotten simply from being brought take-out. "Anyways, the hospital food really is awful." Nowaki dragged a chair from the corner over closer to Misaki's bed.

"So... my shift starts at seven . I figured I could keep you company for a while? If you don't mind, of course." Misaki shook his head quickly.

""T-that's fine, I don't mind at all..." Misaki reached a bit hesitantly for the bag Nowaki had brought, unwrapping the burger and taking a hesitant bite, chewing it pensively before swallowing. Nowaki interrupted the silence by saying,

"Is there anything you want to talk about? Anything bothering you, or something to get off your chest?" Misaki, as a general rule, tended to stay quiet about things that were bothering him, no matter how big or small they were. However, there was a general aura around Nowaki that made him indescribably easy to talk to- more so than even his brother, who always insisted Misaki needed to be more open about his feelings.

"Well... What do you want to know, Nowaki-san?" Misaki had the feeling that if he started from the beginning, wherever that may be, he would end up rambling and accomplish nothing but boring the older man.

"Anything you want to tell me about, I suppose- How about your family, maybe?" Nowaki asked gently and Misaki shrugged. That was probably one of the more simple questions to answer, as opposed to other things that could have been asked- where he lived, for example, or his relationship status. (He wasn't really sure as to why the doctor would care about either of those, really, but he might have.)

"Well, my brother basically raised me, since I was eight. My parents... left on a business trip, and they didn't come back." The tone of Misaki's voice made it clear that he was implying their deaths, although he didn't say it outright. "-But things turned out good after that. My brother, Takahiro, has been really great. I really look up to him"

"I... I see. Well, I'm sorry to hear that, Misaki-kun. Nowaki's facial expression darkened considerably, and it was clear he genuinely pitied the younger boy. Misaki filled the short silence by taking another bite of his food, before saying,

"It's okay. My brother and I both turned out alright, I guess- I'm actually going to M university right now..." Misaki trailed off, not wanting Nowaki to think he was bragging, and glanced over through his hair to measure Nowaki's expression. He seemed, in a word, pensive. Misaki reached over to pull a container of fries from the bag as Nowaki commented,

"That's quite a prestigious school- are you enjoying it there?" Misaki nodded.

"It's really great! All of my teachers are really nice except-" Misaki shook his head, knowing Nowaki wouldn't really care about Kamijou the Devil's habits of throwing chalk at students. "-never mind. It's a really nice school." He finished rather lamely.

"Hmm... You seem like the sort to have lots of friends at school, am I right?" Well, I probably could, if not for Usagi... Misaki thought bitterly, before collecting his thoughts into a response.

"Oh, well, not really, thanks to-" Again, Misaki cut himself off before he could finish his thought. "-Um, I just don't really talk to many people at school..." Misaki was sure Nowaki could tell that wasn't the real reason, he just hoped he wouldn't continue to pry. Misaki smiled brightly and although the other could clearly see through how fake it was, Misaki was glad he didn't inquire as to why. Nowaki changed the subject after that, for which Misaki was thankful.

"You mentioned your brother- he must be a lot older than you, right?" Misaki nodded. "If you don't mind my asking, what's he doing now?" Misaki couldn't see how his brother was terribly important to their discussion, but decided it was a much safer topic than... other possible ones.

"He just recently got married, and he and his wife are expecting their first baby soon- He's always loved little kids, so of course he's ecstatic." Nowaki smiled at how genuinely happy Misaki seemed to be for his older brother.

"Well, that's nice to hear. And if you're in university, then are you living on your own? Or with a roommate, maybe? I... I don't mean to pry, of course." Nowaki, it seemed, had managed to find another delicate subject.

"I was staying with... um, he was my brother's friend." Nowaki couldn't help but notice the strained tone of his voice. He noted that the medical records said the boy had been raped- was there a chance it had been by his brother's friend? Nowaki was well aware that it was none of his business and shouldn't matter to him, but for some reason it did. That conclusion seemed plausible, or at least it would explain Misaki's reaction when Nowaki asked who he lived with.

However, he figured he had probably inadvertently caused the boy more than enough emotional stress for one day, and decided it would be best to leave before he accidentally stepped on another emotional land-mine and caused Misaki to burst into tears, as he looked uncomfortably close to doing so already.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to make you upset..." Nowaki was unsure how to react, since the boy's emotional barrier he had clearly put into place was quickly being stripped away. "I really wasn't trying to imply-" Misaki looked away and attempted to rub away half-formed tears, turning back towards Nowaki a moment later. He tried to smile, although it looked almost painful and the end result was more of a grimace than an expression of happiness.

"I-it's okay, I'm just... overreacting... I'm sorry, Nowaki-san." Nowaki reached over to squeeze Misaki's hand in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

"Don't be ridiculous, Misaki- It's perfectly alright to break down sometimes, especially after... what happened." They both knew that Nowaki didn't know the whole story of what exactly had happened to Misaki, but just hearing the reassuring words helped.

At that moment, Misaki completely snapped, throwing his pride and mask of emotion to the wind and leaning with more force than he had intended into Nowaki's chest, throwing his arms around him. misaki's stitched pulled tight, causing a pinching sensation in his stomach, but that thought was pushed aside when re realized what he had just done.

He felt stupid; Nowaki barely knew him and here he was, sobbing to him like he was a teenage girl crying into a pillow. But what was even more surprising to Misaki than his sudden emotional breakdown was the fact that Nowaki actually embraced him back, wrapping one arm around Misaki's back while the other gently patted his head. Misaki shuddered at the sensation as he remembered how often Usagi did that- but Nowaki's touch was somehow gentler, and showed a genuine care for Misaki beyond simply the lust that was always present in Usagi's gestures.

Misaki took a few deep, shuddering breaths and tried to get a hold of himself. When he finally pulled away from Nowaki's warm, comforting embrace, he realized that smears of his tears were evident on the front of the doctor's work shirt, as well as it being rumpled where it had before been neatly ironed.

"I-I'm sorry, Nowaki-san..." Despite having been told not to apologize, he felt obligated by his timid nature to do so. Apparently, Nowaki understood this, because he didn't object to Misaki's words. He simply reached over to Misaki's nightstand to pick up a box of tissues that were sitting there, and tried rather messily to wipe the tears from Misaki's cheeks.

Nowaki glanced up at the clock, and was surprised to see how much time had passed. "I have to go for my shift now." Nowaki broke the light silence that had fallen with a bit of hesitation.

"Oh.. R-right. I'll see you later, then?" Misaki was trying to act as though he didn't care, but Nowaki once again found his expression easy to see through.

"Yeah- Bye, Misaki-kun!" Nowaki also tried to lighten the mood as he departed, although he could tell his facade was as easy to see through as Misaki's.

Throughout his entire shift in the pediatric ward, Nowaki couldn't get his mind off of how Misaki's arms had desperately wrapped around his middle as he cried- and although someone else might have said his breakdown was simply a release of pent-up stress after having been stabbed, Nowaki could tell it was a lot more.

It was a release of fear, stress, worry, pain, and innumerable other emotions. Nowaki felt almost honored that Misaki had chosen him to pour out all of his emotions to. Although from an objective standpoint he may have said that since Misaki hadn't had any other visitors in the time he had been there, it wasn't a surprise that he had cracked. From loneliness, desperation, whatever it was.

Somehow, though, he wanted to let himself believe it was something more than that. What it was exactly, he wasn't quite sure, but what he didn't know was that he would soon get to be much closer to Misaki than he ever could have guessed.


	3. Chapter Three

"Hey, Nowaki-sensei!" a little girl called from her bed as he was turning to leave, "Why is your shirt all wet?" Nowaki looked down to see that his shirt was indeed still tearstained and wrinkled from Misaki's tears.

"My friend was crying, so I gave him a hug." Nowaki was unsure how else to explain to someone so young, the girl was only five years old, after all.

"Oh... does your friend feel better now, Nowaki-sensei?" Nowaki smiled and patted the girl's shoulder.

"He was very sad, but I hope he'll feel better soon." Nowaki straightened his shirt so it looked a bit more presentable and looked over to see the girl give a knowing nod, wise beyond her years.

"Well, if you're his friend, then I'm sure be happy again really soon!" Nowaki smiled, glad that at least this one little girl believed he could make someone feel better.

"Misaki! Why the heck didn't you call me sooner?" His brother's voice came through the phone that had been on his nightstand, and he sounded agitated and almost scary, but with underlying tones of concern.

"I just didn't want you to worry or anything..." He heard his brother sigh and when he spoke again, his voice was much more calm and collected.

"I worry about your intelligence sometimes, Misaki. I'm your brother. You can't just not tell me if something like this happens!" Misaki had modified the story slightly, saying he had been walking back to Usagi's house and had been jumped in an alleyway, and been stabbed in the process. That story, at least, nicely covered up for why he hadn't answered his cell phone.

He knew his brother would be even more furious when he inevitably found out the real story, but he wanted to give his brother as long as possible oblivious to both the violence his close friend had inflicted on his brother as well as aforementioned friend's 'relationship' with his younger brother. (Misaki was still hesitant to call it that)

"I know, I'm sorry-" Misaki noted that Nowaki was right, and he really did apologize more than necessary.

"Are you going to continue staying with Usagi? You're always welcome to stay with me and Manami, if you like. I think i'd feel a lot more comfortable if you did." No matter how nice the offer sounded, Misaki's pride wouldn't allow him to accept it. However, he was careful not to directly say he was returning to live with Usagi, as he had no intention of doing so, and Usagi was being detained by the law to the best of his knowledge.

"It's alright- I'm fine, really." Misaki was for once glad that his brother was a bit gullible, and didn't press the issue too much.

"Well, if you're sure... But I want you to call me as soon as you get released, okay?" Well, maybe he wasn't quite as gullible as he seemed, but he trusted his brother too much to assume he would do anything other than what he said.

"I will, don't worry about it!" Misaki used a falsely confident tone, and gave a silent sigh of relief when his brother finally hung up a few minutes later.

"Nowaki-san, I really don't mean to be rude, but... why do you care about me so much?" Nowaki was sitting by Misaki's bedside again, and a styrofoam cup of smoothie was present next to him. (The burger from the night before hadn't sat very well in his stomach too well after such a recent injury)

"Hmm... That's not rude, it's just curious. But... I don't know, really, Misaki-kun. If you'd rather I stopped coming by or I'm bothering you-" Misaki cut him off mid-sentence.

"No!" Misaki's face took on a light pink tint. "I mean, uh, no, it... it's fine, really." Nowaki smiled slightly at Misaki's flustered words, and couldn't help the constant thought that something about the boy fascinated him.

He could never quite put a finger on what about the average-seeming younger man was so interesting, but there was undeniably something there that was the reason he felt the need to continually return. What that something might be, though, he didn't have the slightest idea.

Was it how strong Misaki tried to be, despite his current physical weakness? Or could it be pity for what he had gone through, even though he still couldn't say he knew the extent of Misaki's pain. No matter what it was, Nowaki was startlingly aware that Misaki was continually creeping into his thoughts, more so that he could remember anyone having done so before.

That night, Misaki lay awake staring at the ceiling, as drowsy thoughts tumbled about in his mind.

A certain silver-haired man filled his thoughts, dark purple eyes flashing vividly in his mind's eye. Misaki winced at the memory, Usagi's expression contorting from one of lust to one of murderous intent, eyes wide and a knife in his hand, crazed and drunk and wild.

Misaki pulled a hand over his face, then rested his forearm over his eyes as though to block out the thought. He didn't succeed, and the pain of the knife being thrust into his gut as he relived the memory nearly blinded him, seeing the one who said he loved him with a face that longed to kill.

"Am I really scared of him now?" Misaki asked aloud, his words so soft they barely reached his own ears. He didn't want to be scared of Usagi- If anything, he felt that the man still cared about him despite what had happened.

He rolled over onto his side, wincing, and and tried to close his eyes, to push away the less-than-happy thoughts that were plaguing him. He wondered what he would do if he ever saw Usagi again; but then, he also wondered what the older man might do to him.

He wouldn't be surprised if he was greeted with a rough kiss and a whispered apology and an 'I love you'. And how would Misaki reply? He was entirely unsure just what had changed between them, or how differently Usagi might treat him after what had happened.

When Misaki awoke the next morning, Nowaki was sitting in what he had unofficially claimed as his regular spot at the bedside.

"Um... hi?" Misaki pulled himself into a sitting position, noting that the stitches in his stomach hardly hurt at all. "Why're you...?" Nowaki smiled.

"I came early, but you were still asleep, so I waited. Good morning." Misaki's thoughts wandered back to what he had been wondering the night before. He knew that had it been Usagi in Nowaki's place in that moment, he would have been woken up the moment the impatient man arrived with a rough and passionate kiss, and hands where he really didn't want them that early in the morning. (Or any time of day, for that matter) Misaki appreciated that about Nowaki- although he had a relatively straightforward, dominant personality, he wan't a pervert.

"Oh... you could've woken me up..." Nowaki reached over and ruffled Misaki's already disheveled hair. Why does everyone seem to do that?

"I'd feel bad if I did that. Anyway, I guess I'm not technically supposed to tell you this, but your name's on the list of patients that are supposed to be released today. So, you'll probably get to go home later." The words held a bit of a bittersweet feeling for both of them- Nowaki was glad Misaki was recovering, obviously, but he would miss the younger man's company more than he cared to admit.

Misaki would be glad to be out of the constant surrounding of the hospital, but still had yet to figure out where he would go, exactly, once he was released.

"Are you going to go back to staying with your brother?" Nowaki asked, almost as though he had read Misaki's thoughts.

"Oh... well, no, I'm not." Nowaki could sense the unease in Misaki's voice and asked curiously,

"You're not going back to your brother's friend, either, are you?" By the way Misaki winced, Nowaki could tell that wasn't the case either. "Well... where are you going, then?" Nowaki hoped he hadn't sounded too pushy, which he apparently hadn't because Misaki answered,

"I don't know..." Nowaki was taken aback by the boy's answer.

"You mean, you don't have anywhere to go?" Misaki looked away, glancing out the window in the opposite wall.

"I'll figure it out..." Misaki, it was clear, doubted his own words. Nowaki suddenly had an idea- It was a pretty stupid idea, sure, but somehow he could tell it was a good one.

"what if you came to stay with me? I know we don't exactly know each other very well, but..." Nowaki realized that he was being rather awkward with his invitation. "-Just if you want to, I mean." And expression that could best be likened to shock crossed Misaki's features.

"R-really? I'd hate to cause you any trouble, but if that would be okay, then..." Misaki seemed glad to have a potential solution to his dilemma, but was still hesitant to accept if it would inconvenience the other man.

"Of course it's okay- why would I offer if it wasn't?" Nowaki smiled in an attempt to relieve the tension that was starting to hang in the air, and after a silence, Misaki finally said,

"...Okay. But I won't just be a free loader! I can do housework and cooking if you want..." Misaki was reminded startlingly of his living agreement with Usagi, and repressed a shudder at the thought. He'd technically been forced into giving Usagi a bit more than just housecleaning...

"Well, alright, if you want to then I think we could work something out-" Nowaki checked his watch before saying, "Sorry, we have to work this out later, my shift is about to start..."

Nowaki left quickly after that, leaving Misaki alone with his thoughts. He didn't really know much about Nowaki at all, besides that he was a pediatrician in the hospital and only a few years older than Misaki.

But beyond that, what did he know? Who was Nowaki, really? All of their conversations were very Misaki-centric, it seemed. At times, Nowaki reminded him almost disturbingly of Usagi, such as when he would run his hand through Misaki's hair in a gesture of comfort. And although Misaki wasn't sure by how much since he was always laying down when talking to Nowaki, Misaki was sure he was much shorter than the other man.

A doctor came in a bit later to give him a final check-up and a bottle of painkillers before changing the bandages around Misaki's stomach one more time and saying that he could go.

He got up gingerly, and managed to get to the bathroom without a problem. He changed out of the hospital pajamas and into a pair of baggy jeans and a button-down shirt that Nowaki had leant him, saying that he kept them in his locker t the hospital for when he had to work a double shift without getting chance to get home.

As Misaki pulled on the shirt, he couldn't help but notice the light, clean scent that clung to the clothes. Usagi's clothes (And oddly, most of Misaki's as well) held a strong, musky scent that was almost overpowering.

Once he finished changing, Misaki realized that he would probably have a few hours at least to wait before Nowaki was done with his shift. Conveniently, there was a park down the street from the hospital, and Misaki decided to wait there.

He lifted his face up to the early afternoon sun, which felt refreshing after a few days inside. He listened to the sounds of the children playing on the playground equipment, elderly people chatting, and couldn't help it when his memories drifted to the many times Takahiro had taken him to parks, how he had been chased around by his brother until late afternoon, when they would sometimes get ice cream on their way home as a special treat and they would walk home, tired but happy.

It was around five o'clock when Misaki decided to head back and see if Nowaki was done with work yet. He re-entered the hospital lobby he had left earlier that day, and walked over to the reception desk.

"Excuse me, but do you know what time Nowaki... um..." Misaki tried to think back to the name tag that was always present on Nowaki's work uniform, but cam up blank. "Sorry, I don't know his last name. He's a pediatrician here...?"

"Ah, yes, Kusama-sensei. What about him?" The receptionist glanced down to type something into her computer.

"I was just wondering what time his shift would be over?" the receptionist typed something else, before glancing up to say,

"It says four-thirty here, but then it looks like he got another patient at the last minute..." Misaki looked at a clock on the wall to see that it was about five twenty.

Just then, a door across the lobby labeled 'staff only' banged open, and Nowaki quickly hurried over. Misaki barely had a chance to register his presence before he said,

"I'm sorry, I had an emergency case so I stayed overtime to help-" He seemed flustered, and like he had been genuinely distraught about Misaki having to wait. Misaki shook his head quickly, saying,

"It's fine. I didn't know what time you were supposed to be done by, anyway." the two departed from the hospital, and began walking in the direction of the nearest train station. A few minutes later, they were fighting their way through the crowded station and only barely able to catch the train on time.

The two rode in companionable silence for a while and just when Misaki was about to ask how much longer it was going to be, the train pulled in to a station and Nowaki stood up, signaling that this was where they were getting off.

Misaki followed suit, and only two blocks later they reached an average-size apartment complex. It somehow managed to instantly feel more home-y than Usagi's building had at first glance, maybe because it was much closer to hat Misaki would consider normal or average, as opposed to the constant and completely unnecessary extravagance present in Usagi's top-of-the-line penthouse.

There wasn't much conversation between the two, simply because neither was sure what to say- Misaki was thankful to Nowaki for letting him stay, but he was aware that he knew almost nothing about him.

Nowaki was much more sensitive to Misaki's emotions than Usagi tended to be, and was somehow softer and warmer... Misaki shook his head slightly, knowing that even in his head the words felt weird.

True, Usagi wasn't exactly the most in-tune to other people's emotions, but living with him hadn't beed a bad experience, per se, albeit it wasn't always a comfortable one.

When Nowaki opened the apartment door, the first thing he thought was that he wouldn't have much work to do. The apartment was a bit on the smaller side, but everything seemed o be neatly in its place. It smelled the same as the scent that had clung to the clothes he was wearing, and he glanced over to see Nowaki smiling slightly, probably at Misaki's reaction. But Nowaki seemed to smile like that rather a lot...

Misaki's stomach chose that moment to grumble embarrassingly loudly. Nowaki glanced at the clock on his wrist quickly before saying,

"It's almost eight- I don't know what i really have for dinner, but I'll see if I can find something..." Misaki saw this as an opportunity to prove his cooking skills, and eagerly volunteered to help.

Nowaki accepted and a few minutes later the two were standing side-by-side in the small kitchen, chopping vegetables and chicken to make a simple stir fry. Misaki noted that Nowaki seemed to be a proficient chef, chopping bell peppers into clean, even chunks with skill to rival Misaki's own.

It took about a half hour for dinner to be finished, and Misaki became painfully aware of the fact that they had absolutely nothing to talk about.

"Um... How long have you been a pediatrician for, Nowaki-san?" He knew from experience that most people liked to talk about their jobs and was glad to find Nowaki no exception.

"Well, I'm not technically a fully-qualified pediatrician yet, I'm still just an assistant. But I've been training for about two and a half years." Misaki took a moment to try and figure out the mental math.

"So, you're... twenty-six?" Nowaki wasn't sure how much college it took to become a doctor, and Nowaki's slight head shake said he was apparently a bit off.

"No, I'm twenty-eight, actually. I'm sorry, does that make this a bit awkward?" Misaki had looked away quickly, slightly surprised that Nowaki was the same age as Usagi. Nowaki seemed more mature, but also kinder as well. It was an interesting personality, but not necessarily one he would mind getting used to.

"Oh- no, it's just a coincidence, since you're the same age as my..." Misaki stopped for a moment before continuing, "My... brother's friend."

If Nowaki hadn't been sure there was more between Misaki and his 'brother's friend' before, he was absolutely positive of it now. The way Misaki avoided talking about him, and refused to refer to him as anything other than his brother's friend, as though he was trying to persuade himself.

"I see... Misaki, if you don't mind me asking-" Misaki shrugged, giving him permission to continue, "-Did you not like your brother's friend very much?" Misaki looked down and started playing with the few pieces of food left in the bowl before him.

"Well, I guess... The whole place was filled with teddy bears and super-expensive stuff, so it was really unusual, but..." Misaki's answer wasn't particularly enlightening, but it was rather interesting that he had avoided really answering the question, talking about the house itself instead of the person who lived there. That, and the fact that the house was apparently filled with stuffed bears.

Nowaki, although he wasn't exactly planning on asking him then, still wondered what had happened and what exactly this other man was to Misaki.

"Teddy bears? That's... unusual."

"I guess. You kind of get used to it after a while." Misaki's thoughts started drifting off to somewhere near teddy bears, and how warm and comforting certain other things could feel if they were embracing him as he drifted off to sleep. Suddenly, a wave of longing enveloped him, and he had a sudden yearning for the feeling of Usagi's warm, strong arms around him, the feelings of captivity and reassurance rolled into one.

"Misaki?" Nowaki inquired, waving a hand in front of his face to snap him out of his daze. "Are you okay?" Misaki nodded quickly, focusing his eyes on Nowaki's.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired."

"Well, you can go to bed, if you like- you only just got out of the hospital today, after all." Misaki didn't respond to his words, so Nowaki asked, "Or we could watch something on TV?"

"Sure, if you want to, that sounds good." Misaki couldn't help making a comparison between Nowaki and Usagi- Nowaki was offering to just sit and watch TV, while Usagi would be on top of him in an instant, like the pervert he was. It was a nice relief to Misaki that not every man in the world would jump him, if they were given the chance. (Because Misaki knew that if Nowaki really wanted to, he was in the perfect position to do so)

However, Misaki knew almost intuitively that Nowaki wouldn't- he didn't have that weird pervert aura that surrounded Usagi.

A few minutes later the two were seated on the sofa in the living room, Nowaki with one arm propped up on the armrest and supporting his head while Misaki sat with his knees pulled in to his chest. There was a gap between them, but not an awkward one that made them seem like they were avoiding each other.

It was, in a word, comfortable. There was another companionable silence in the air, which Misaki found to be both a relief and a pleasant change.

He hadn't even realized how tired he was until the show they were watching reached the first commercial break, and he couldn't resist the heavy feeling in his eyelids as he allowed them to slide closed. Before he fell asleep completely, however, he felt an odd sensation of someone laying him down (As he was still curled into a ball) and gently ruffling his hair. He gave a final deep sigh of contentment, before drifting off entirely.


	4. Chapter Four

Nowaki had known Misaki was tired, but so exhausted that he fell asleep within ten minutes of watching TV? Nowaki saw that his guest's eyes were a bit out of focus and sliding closed, and figured that the younger could use the rest- he had only been released from the hospital earlier that day, after all.

Nowaki reached over to lie Misaki down so that he wouldn't fall asleep in the position he was in, and apparently misjudged the distance because Misaki's head fell right in his lap.

He was about to readjust himself, as it would be a bit awkward to explain if Misaki awoke, but Misaki gave a light, contented sigh that was somehow so endearing that Nowaki couldn't bring himself to move away. It was a startling realization, that he cared so much for someone he had met so recently. Nowaki ran his fingers through Misaki's hair again, watching lazily as the strands fell back into place on his forehead.

Nowaki knew he was behaving oddly- he barely even knew Misaki, but something had possessed him to allow him so stay; and not only that, but said guest was currently asleep with his head resting in Nowaki's lap. A vague thought crossed his mind that he should get up and go to his own bed, but Misaki's close warmth and his own sudden drowsiness secured him to the couch as though he were held there with glue.

He vaguely remembered to turn off the TV before he, too, drifted off to sleep, one hand still entwined in Misaki's hair.

Misaki knew before he opened his eyes that he wasn't with Usami, and the arm wrapped around him wasn't Usami's familiar one. For a moment he panicked, sitting straight up and wrenching his way out of the grip from the arm around him. It took him a moment to wake up fully and realize that it was Nowaki who had apparently been using him as a human teddy bear.

His sudden movement caused the older man to stir, and Misaki watched warily as Nowaki's eyes slid drowsily open. Usami hadn't exactly been much of a morning person, and Misaki wondered if Nowaki would be the same way. He curled into a slightly defensive position at the other end of the couch on instinct, and was genuinely surprised when Nowaki's face broke out into an amused smile.

"You're kinda jumpy... Is something wrong?" Nowaki's expression changed to one of mild concern, and Misaki quickly tried to cover up his odd reaction.

"It's nothing, my brother's friend just- well, he wasn't exactly a morning person... sorry." Nowaki decided that Misaki was definitely covering something up- there was no way someone would really be that jumpy just because the person they stayed with tended to be grumpy in the morning, right? However, Nowaki decided not to press the matter, as his stomach was grumbling incessantly.

Nowaki would have been fine with just cereal, really, but Misaki had insisted on making eggs and bacon for them. It felt more than a little odd to have someone he barely knew in his kitchen, cooking him breakfast, and was relieved to find out that Misaki was a better chef than him- although Nowaki wasn't a particularly bad cook, he couldn't make much beyond stew without needing to consult a cookbook.

The stack of pancakes Misaki sat in front of him smelled heavenly, and he didn't hesitate to dig in. Nowaki had no idea before that moment how good pancakes could taste- the light, fluffy texture was, in a word, perfection.

"Are they okay?" Misaki asked uncertainly after swallowing a bite. Nowaki nodded enthusiastically, saying,

"They're really great, thanks." Misaki calmed down a bit then, relaxing into his seat and eating his own food. Nowaki decided Misaki wasn't going to start a conversation himself, so he asked,

"What were you planning to do today?" Misaki hadn't really had a chance to think about it, and after a moment said,

"I guess I need to go to-" He stopped himself before saying 'Usagi', "-Usami-san's house and get some stuff..." Nowaki hadn't heard the name before, but assumed it to be Misaki's brother's friend.

"I see... well, I have to go to work this evening, but if you wanted to go by later this morning, I could come with you." Nowaki knew he was being far more assertive than necessary, practically inviting himself over to a house that wasn't even Misaki's own.

"You don't have to-" Misaki was about to protest, but Nowaki raised his hand in a silent gesture for Misaki to hear him out.

"It's fine- and unless you really don't want me to, I'd like to come." Misaki couldn't make his mind form any real reason why Nowaki shouldn't come, and decided that forbidding him to do so would only make him come off as obnoxious and bratty.

"I guess... I mean, if you really want to, I don't see why not." Nowaki seemed to be much happier than he could reasonably be expected with such a small submission.

However, Nowaki had a bit of an ulterior motive for wanting to go with Misaki. He had developed what could only be called a protective instinct over the older man- even though Misaki was only about six years younger than him, he exuded an aura of somehow being more delicate than the average man his age.

Now matter what the reason really was, Nowaki had an urge to take care of Misaki in an unusual sort of way that he hadn't ever wanted to protect anyone before.

Three hours later, Misaki and Nowaki were riding up in the elevator to Usami's penthouse. Although Misaki had memorized the length of time the ride took, it felt unusually long when Nowaki was with him.

And, it felt somehow disloyal to Usami to bring someone else to their shared place of residence without him knowing, even though he was unsure if they were still officially together (Although if it came to that, Misaki had never really accepted themselves as an item in the first place.)

A faint 'ding' brought him out of his thoughts, and Misaki led the way to the penthouse door. He fished the spare key out of the pocket of Nowaki's old jeans, glad that it had happened to be in his pocket when the incident occurred.

Although the penthouse looked physically the same as it always did, the was a kind of dead atmosphere, giving the impression that Usami's house had been empty for much longer than it really had.

"Whoa..." Nowaki mumbled, clearly impressed by the excessive grandeur of the place. Misaki felt somehow embarrassed by it all, as though he would be judged for having lived with someone of such high status. He made his way to his room as quickly as possible, and felt comforted by the casual and familiar surroundings. There were a few teddy bears in the corner that had somehow made their way out of the bear room but besides that, everything in the room was his.

Nowaki uncertainly took a seat on the edge of the bed, while Misaki busied himself with packing a spare duffel bag full of as much clothing as he could fit, as well as random other things he thought he might need.

Nowaki watched detachedly as Misaki scrambled about, and found the whole spectacle rather amusing. It took Misaki only a few minutes to pack, and it was clear that he was desperate to leave.

Once he pulled the zipper on his bag closed, he practically ran in the direction of the door. Nowaki reached out to grab his arm at the last possible second, and Misaki turned around as suddenly as if Nowaki's hand were on fire.

"Hey... are you okay?" Nowaki asked, and Misaki gave the same dishonest nod he always seemed to when he was asked that question.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Nowaki-san..." As if. Nowaki could tell Misaki was lying, but what he didn't know was why. With every other similar situation, Nowaki had simply brushed it off. However, his curiosity overtook him and he couldn't help but ask about it.

"Misaki, it's pretty clear that you're not fine. You don't necessarily have to tell me, but-" Misaki shrugged.

"I'm just overreacting, it's nothing really..." Misaki paused and decided that there wasn't really much to tell, at least about his current mood of mild panic, and he had no real reason not to tell Nowaki anyway. It was true, he was uncomfortable being in this house and especially in his own room. He took a moment to collect his scattered thoughts before saying,

"Well actually... It feels weird being back here. Because I, you know, I almost died..." Misaki's eyes ventured to a patch of carpet that was now spotless Nowaki wondered who had cleaned it up, as he was sure by the look on Misaki's face that he had lain there and nearly bled to death.

"That, and... well, never mind." He had considered telling Nowaki behind the real reason he felt so much uneasiness, but figured it was unnecessary; Nowaki seemed to have something he wanted to say, anyhow.

"Well, that makes sense. I can imagine it being really uncomfortable- actually, you look a bit pale, would you like some water or something?" Misaki shook his head, then picked up his duffel as well as a book-bag that had been sitting on the ground near the door.

He led the way out of the room, and Nowaki had no choice but to follow or fear getting lost in the spacious house. By the time Misaki slowed his pace, Nowaki noted that they had reached the kitchen. It was clear by how expertly Misaki moved about that he was used to working here.

"Since it's already almost lunchtime, do you want me to make something while we're here?" Nowaki was taken aback by Misaki's sudden mood swing, but decided to agree- since they were already there and Misaki was offering, it would seem rude to disagree.

"Sure, do you need any help?" Misaki shook his head, pulling some food out of the refrigerator. Some of it had gone bad while the house had been unoccupied, but Misaki was able to make a nice meal out of what they had anyway.

"You're a really good chef- have you ever had lessons or anything?" Misaki shook his head again, getting out a cutting board before saying,

"When you have to cook every day for a few years, I guess you're bound to improve. But, it's more of a hobby, really." So... he had to cook for this person he lived with every day? Nowaki made a mental note, but pushed it aside in the interest of continuing the conversation.

"Well, you're good at it anyhow. By the way, it's just you and your brother's friend living here, right?" Nowaki didn't want Misaki to think he was invading his privacy, but Nowaki wanted to find out if his suspicions that 'Usagi-san' was more than a friend were correct.

"Yeah, it's just us here." Misaki moved the plates of freshly-prepared food to the table and took a seat, gesturing for Nowaki to do the same. "Why?"

"Just because, it seems like a big apartment for only two people." A small line appeared between Misaki's brows as he drew them together.

"Yeah, it is- Usag- I mean, Usami-san tends to be really extravagant when he doesn't need to." Nowaki wondered if those word really held just the surface level meaning they implied, and somehow he doubted it.

"I see..." Nowaki mumbled, and Misaki avoided his eyes a bit after that, staring at the walls or down at the table. Nowaki didn't notice, though, because he was trying to sort out his own thoughts; If Misaki really had been abused, wouldn't be be more hesitant to talk about him and be uncomfortable with being back in his house? But, when Misaki had been in his room packing, hadn't he looked like he wanted to leave as quickly as possible?

Nowaki mentally slapped himself- Misaki was uncomfortable, and was probably just trying not to show it for Nowaki's sake. He ma not have known Misaki for long, but Nowaki was already well aware that Misaki would rather suffer in silence than burden anyone else with his problems.

As soon as it was clear neither of them were going to eat any more, Misaki cleared their plates to the sink and began washing them.

"Do you want any help?" Nowaki asked, feeling weird for watching Misaki work without helping him.

"Oh... um, sure, if you want could you dry them?" He handed Nowaki a dish rag, gesturing to he small pile of dishes on the draining rack. It took only a few minutes for the dishes to be washed, dried, and put away, and it was wordlessly agreed that they had nothing else left to do there and could leave.

Despite Misaki's protests, Nowaki carried his heavy school bag for him- a gesture that reminded Misaki of the many times Usami had done something similar. Misaki shouldered his duffel bag, and the two were riding down in the elevator when Nowaki said,

"I guess I'll have to clean up the spare room for you, hmm?" Misaki looked over and gave him a questioning look. "Sleeping on the couch is nice and all-" a light blush sprung up over Misaki's cheeks, "-but as for permanent arrangements..." Misaki nodded. He had been wondering where he would stay as well, but had refrained from voicing his concern. He sighed, realizing just how much of an introvert he had become.

They had arrived at Nowaki's apartment by two o'clock, and Nowaki suggested they start cleaning up the room that would soon become Misaki's.

The rest of Nowaki's apartment was neat and orderly, but the spare room was cluttered, with boxes stacked in the corners and on top of the sparse furniture. Nowaki ran a hand through his hair sheepishly, mumbling something about he should keep the room cleaner.

"It's just a storage room though, right? There's really no reason to keep it cleaned up." Although Misaki was a bit of a neat freak himself, he didn't really mind the clutter all that much.

Misaki bent down to pick up a rather large box, only to have waves of pain radiate from his midsection.

"Oi! Don't strain yourself! You only just got out of the hospital yesterday, stupid!"

"Sorry... Misaki was startled by Nowaki's sudden outburst, and couldn't help but think that Nowaki seemed almost protective of him. However, he brushed it off with the excuse that since the older man was training to be a doctor, of course he wouldn't want Misaki to strain himself.

Misaki was a bit surprised to find the closet nearly empty, and after a bit of rearranging he was able to hang up his clothes. It felt a bit odd to be so casually making himself at home in someone else's residence, but he diligently continued to help Nowaki clean up. (Or as much as Nowaki would let him at least.)

Misaki felt a bit more tired than he usually would have after such little physical activity, but pushed it aside. It was nearly time for Nowaki to leave for his night shift at work by the time they finished, and despite Misaki's protests Nowaki insisted he could just pick up some food on his way over.

And before he knew it, Misaki was alone. He wasn't sure what to do, really, so he paced around his new bedroom for a while before settling on his bed with a book he needed to finish for Devil Kamijou's class. He had been missing classes since his injury, after all, and didn't even want to think about the amount of homework he would have when he got back.

It was only after he had nearly fallen asleep for the third time that he decided he really wasn't making much progress and should find something else to do. He wandered into the kitchen, having neglected to eat dinner earlier, and began looking for something to eat. He found a container of the stir-fry left over from the night before and reheated it, not really in the mood to cook anything new.

As he tried to remember where Nowaki kept the chopsticks, he also started wracking his mind to recall how much homework he still needed to get done, assuming he could return to classes the next day.

Once he ate, washed his dishes, and returned to his room, he realized that it had been a long time since he had even thought about checking his cell phone, and if someone was trying to reach him he had been all but ignoring them.

He plugged in his charger and waited for his phone to come back to life. Once it did, he glanced at the display to see: RIver Glen Recuperation and Rehab- 19 missed calls. He had no idea who that was, but they clearly needed to reach him. He decided to call them back after he checked his text messages.

The least recent few were from Sumi, the afternoon of his... incident. There were quite a few from his brother as well, one from Aikawa telling him to make sure Usami met his next deadline... Somehow, it seemed like there was something missing. Whenever he checked his phone, there was always at least one or two random texts from Usami- most of them stupid reminders to come home as soon as he could, or saying he loved him, or... pretty much anything, really.

Misaki skimmed through the texts from everyone else, before deciding to call back whoever had called him nineteen times. His finger hovered over the call button, and he was about to press it when a though occurred to him- He didn't really have any idea where Usami had gone after what he had done, but maybe it would make sense that he had ended up at whatever 'Recuperation and Rehab' meant.

It was a wild guess, but there was a chance, right? Misaki hesitated only for another moment before pressing the 'call' button. The phone rang a few times, agonizingly slowly, before someone picked up on the other end and Usami's voice flooded through the phone, anxiously saying,

"Misaki?"


	5. Chapter Five

"U-Usagi-san?" Misaki tried to force the emotion out of his voice, but could tell he was failing miserably.

"I'm sorry, Misaki. I love you." there was a resounding difference between having those words casually said to him as he left the house and hearing them over the phone, with so much emotion and truth behind them.

"Stupid..." Misaki mumbled, "I'm fine..."physically, at least, that wasn't a lie. But mentally, Misaki was still very not-fine.

"Stop lying, Misaki. There's no way you're fine." Usami's voice was filled with a regret that Misaki had never heard there before, and his out-of-character behavior was surprising.

"I'm okay, really..." Misaki wasn't sure if he was trying to persuade Usami, or was just trying to make himself believe it.

"Are you? Really?" Usami sounded doubtful. "Where have you been staying? With your brother?"

"N-no, I'm staying with a... a friend, actually." Normally, Usami would have been insistent at knowing which friend, and how soon he could be home so that Usami could have his 'daily dose of Misaki'.

"Oh..." It was clear that Usami had something he was hesitant to say.

"Um... where are you at, though?" It felt like an odd reversal of roles, with Misaki taking a bit more charge in the conversation than he usually did.

"I'm being detained at River Glen something-or-other." Well, that much Misaki had already known.

"Is it like... prison?" Misaki automatically assumed the worst, only to hear Usami give a low, grim laugh.

"Not quite- it's more like a mental ward, actually." Oh, great... Misaki felt as though his greatest fear had come true. "Apparently, trying to kill you makes me clinically insane." Usami paused briefly, before continuing, "But maybe I am." It was the first time Misaki could remember Usami expressing any kind of self-doubt.

"N-no, you... you were drunk, and I don't blame you- I'll testify for you-"

"Oh, really? You would?" Usami sounded skeptical, as though he doubted Misaki really meant what he said. "You don't have to, you know- I am guilty, after all." And that might be true, but that doesn't mean they have to lock you up in prison.

"But... you're..."

"I'm guilty. Of attempted murder. I regret it- more than you can ever know, I wish I hadn't done it- but I did. And I wish we could just magically let it all blow over and we could both go home and I could make up for all the days of Misaki I've missed, but I can't." Misaki chose to ignore the last part and said,

"Stupid rabbit- I'm not mad at you, I'm fine. You just... get out of there, 'kay?" Usami's low laugh rumbled through the phone yet again.

"Aw, does my Misaki miss me? I can't wait to get home so I can-"

"Shut up!" Misaki frowned, not that Usami could see it, before saying, "But... seriously, try to come home."

"Of course." there was a short silence before Usami said, "I have to go- I love you." Misaki didn't even have a chance to protest before the line went dead. he snapped his phone shut, but didn't move beyond that.

On the surface, Misaki looked emotionless- maybe a bit vacant- but on the inside, he was a mess of confusing and turbulent feelings. It was obvious that through everything, Usami still held the same feelings he always had for Misaki- but, did Misaki still hold the same feelings for his older lover? (It still felt weird, even in his thoughts, to have 'Usami' and 'lover' in the same sentence)

He figured he could sort that out later, as he was feeling rather drowsy and the bed he was currently laying on top of was much more comfortable than the couch he had slept on the night before.

He allowed his eyes to close, willing himself to fall asleep and hoping that his physical exhaustion would be enough to push him over the edge into unconsciousness.\

Misaki spent over an hour tossing and turning after that, trying as hard as he could to go to sleep so that at least he would be able to think logically in the morning. He finally drifted off to sleep well past midnight, the last vague thought crossing his mind that he wondered what time Nowaki would be coming home.

When Nowaki finally stumbled into the apartment, it was nearly two in the morning. He thought back to what his supervisor had said as he was leaving, feeling again the wave of relief at hearing, "We have a new trainee coming in soon and they're taking your place, so your hours are going to be getting a lot better from here on out."

Barely remembering to take off his jacket and replace his work slacks with sweatpants, Nowaki collapsed into bed in a much better mood than that of the younger boy in the room next door.

Misaki awoke the next morning to the small of something cooking. Before he was fully awake or had even grasped his surroundings, he wondered, Why is Usagi-san making pancakes? However, he peeled his eyes open soon after that, and realized suddenly that he was not in Usami's penthouse but in Nowaki's apartment, and that unless there was someone else here he hadn't been told about, it was Nowaki in the kitchen making what smelled very close to the pancakes his brother used to make him on the weekends.

Misaki sat up too quickly, and felt a bit dizzy; by the time the blood flow got back to his brain, he fully remembered his conversation with Usami the night before.

Stumbling into the kitchen, Misaki noted that Nowaki's mood seemed way too pleasant for that time of morning, especially if he hadn't even gotten home until after Misaki fell asleep.

"Morning, Misaki!" Seriously, what has gotten into this guy?

"Good morning, Nowaki-san. You seem... happy this morning." Nowaki shrugged.

"I am- apparently a new trainee is coming in to work at the hospital, so I'm going to start getting much better hours, and probably a promotion as well."

"Oh! Well, that's great then. Congratulations." Although he did genuinely feel glad Nowaki would be getting a promotion, the emotion didn't quite reach his words since he was so preoccupied with his own dilemma with Usami.

"Hey, did you sleep alright, Misaki? You look..." Nowaki faltered, trying to find a word that could adequately describe Misaki's expression, "-lost-" Misaki chuckled, thinking that 'lost' just about summed it up.

"Ah... my brother's friend called me last night, right after you left." Misaki attempted to say it casually, but Nowaki clearly picked up on the slight bitterness in his tone.

"... Oh." Nowaki tried to think of a better reply, but came up with nothing better than, "He still has the nerve to talk to you?"

"Well, um..." between Misaki and Usami, it wasn't exactly Usami that was lacking nerve. "I needed-" Misaki cut himself off quickly, "-I wanted to talk to him anyway.

Nowaki didn't miss Misaki almost saying that he needed to talk to the man- and even though it wasn't exactly anything really noticeable, he still mentally added it to the list of evidence he had that Misaki and Usami were more than just landlord and tenant. Clearly, Misaki was torn between trying to let the man's violent acts blow over, and admitting that there was something wrong with the relationship between them.

"You okay?" Nowaki asked, since Misaki's expression had darkened considerably.

"I'm fine... I should probably go soon, I have a couple of classes this morning that I need to go to." Nowaki could tell that Misaki was, at least slightly, trying to make and excuse for leaving the rather uncomfortable conversation.

However, he had been skipping classes for nearly a week- and even though he had just gotten out of the hospital, Nowaki knew that Misaki wasn't the sort of person to skip for classes just because of that.

By the time Nowaki had finished washing the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen (despite Misaki's protests that he could do it himself) Misaki had gotten ready, and had re-entered the kitchen with his book bag slung over his shoulder.

"Um... I'll be back later, then?" Misaki said uncertainly. At that moment, Nowaki came up with a sudden, split-second idea- one that would possibly help him to determine once and for all whether or not the other boy was really in a romantic relationship with his brother's friend.

Misaki had one hand on the doorknob and was in the process of turning it when Nowaki, trying to get his attention said,

"Hey, Misaki-" Confused, the college student turned around to see Nowaki hurrying towards him. Misaki opened his mouth to ask what Nowaki needed, but didn't have a chance to say anything because the next thing he knew, Nowaki's hands were against the door on either side of his shoulders, their faces mere inches from each other.

And then... Misaki felt Nowaki's lips come into contact with his. He simply froze, unable to move as his mind was setting off fireworks and warning signals at the same time. Nowaki was being forceful, but somehow considerate at the came time. He didn't try to force Misaki's mouth open, or even seem to expect him to kiss back. When Nowaki finally pulled away, Misaki's cheeks were painted a brilliant shade of red.

"W-wha...?" he mumbled, before turning, opening the door with quivering fingers, and practically running in the direction of the bus route he had looked up the night before that would bring him to school.

Nowaki knew he had been stupid- it had been a spur of the moment decision, to kiss Misaki. Although in the few seconds of thought he had given it it had seemed like a good idea, he was a bit worried about how the younger man would react when he inevitably returned to the apartment later that evening.

Nowaki thankfully had the day off, so he decided to busy himself with some bills he had to pay, before calling back a friend whose call he had missed a few days before.

He spent most of the day busying himself with random tasks that didn't technically need to get done, but did anyway so he could keep his mind occupied. He knew he had been stupid to force himself on Misaki, and yet at the same time was glad he had done so because, at the very least, he had figured out what he had originally intended.

He was now more certain than before that Misaki had been in an abusive relationship- Even though he obviously hadn't wanted Nowaki's close-range contact, he hadn't fought back or pulled away. He knew from a class he had taken a while back in his second year of medical training that his hesitant but complete submission was an almost certain sign of past sexual abuse.

Nowaki realized he had no idea how many classes Misaki had, or what time he would be coming back. Deciding he had done as much as he could to get his ming off of his earlier... contact with Misaki, he flopped onto the couch, laying on his back. He stared up at the ceiling, trying to sort out his thoughts. Would Misaki be mad at him for what he had done?

It wouldn't surprise him, but at the same time he hoped Misaki would be at least a little bit understanding as to why he had done it. It had just been to verify something- it wasn't as though Nowaki really held any romantic feelings for him.

...Right?

There was no way he felt anything for Misaki. Nowaki had simply allowed him to stay because he didn't have anywhere else to go, and that was the end of it. Or so he had been telling himself. But if he pushed that notion aside, maybe there was something there. His initial fascination with Misaki the first time he had walked past the younger man's room in the hospital hadn't faded away, although it had changed slightly now that he knew Misaki better.

The best word he could think of for what he felt was infatuation, maybe- It seemed about accurate, at least.

Misaki had to use all of the self-control he possessed not to slam the door in Nowaki's face and run blindly away as fast as he could.

As it was, he was still blushing furiously when the bus pulled up about ten minutes later. What had Nowaki been thinking? The memory forced its way through his head on repeat the entire ride to M university. Nowaki was different from Usami- although both gave him affection when he didn't necessarily want it, Nowaki had done so in a way that was both demanding and gentle; where Usami would have roughly shoved his tongue into Misaki's mouth, Nowaki's kiss had been both more innocent and more lustful.

Misaki wasn't sure why he felt the need to analyze it so moch, but he couldn't get his subconscious to stop. If Nowaki had kissed him, wouldn't that simply imply that he he liked him? Misaki had known the older man for a week- had he really developed feelings for him in that short period of time?

Or maybe there were no real feelings there at all, and Nowaki was just more like Usami than he had originally thought? It seemed possible, but there was nothing in any of Nowaki's words or gestures to hint that that was the case.

The bus reached the university soon after, and Misaki hurried to reach his first class- Professor Kamijou's- on time. The second he took his seat, a piece of chalk whizzed through the air, hitting him straight in the forehead with deadly precision.

"Takahashi! You've missed class for five days straight- explain yourself." Misaki hadn't expected his literature teacher to actually notice his absence, let alone announce it to the whole class.

"I was in the hospital..." He didn't bother lying, knowing that the intimidating man would see right through it if he did, and given that Kamijou was Usami's friend, he probably knew at least a little bit of what had happened already.

"Well, as interesting as I'm sure that was," the professor didn't show even the slightest amount of emotion, "try not to be five and a half minutes late to my class in the future." Misaki nodded, pulling out a notebook as well as the book he had neglected to finish reading the night before.

The rest of the class passed fairly uneventfully, besides getting more chalk than usual (and a girl sitting at the front of the room's pencil case) thrown in his direction by the irritable professor.

Nowaki had actually worried for a while that Misaki might not come back- The younger had just gotten out of an abusive relationship, and not even a week later had a kiss forced upon him by someone he hardly knew. He wasn't sure why he cared so much about Misaki, but he knew deep down that if the younger man didn't return, he would care a lot more than he really should.

That was why, when a knock at the door proved Misaki had chosen to return, Nowaki felt a wave of relief wash over him. However, his spirits dampened when Misaki made his way to his room as quickly as possible, barely mumbling a quick "Hey" before closing the door behind him.

Nowaki sighed tempted to slump onto the couch and think about ways of mixing his mistake. However, he knew that wasn't exactly a practical solution and figured that actually talking to Misaki would be the best decision.

It felt a bit odd to Nowaki, having to knock on a door in his own house. He firmly hit his knuckles against the door's surface, and wasn't surprised when he didn't get a response. He tried the door, and was relieved that Misaki hadn't locked it.

"Misaki?" the college student was sitting on the floor, homework and books spread out around him.

"Oh... hey." Misaki mumbled. He tried to continue working, but it was clear he was distracted by the fact that he was trying to write a paper titled '18th century Japanese literature' while rifling through an upside-down English textbook.

"I'm sorry." Nowaki said, closing the door behind him and sliding down so that he was sitting with his back against it. "Earlier- I wasn't trying to scare you or anything."

Misaki considered saying something along the lines of how he was used to being randomly kissed (among other things) but decided to keep his mouth shut; it was clear Nowaki already suspected him and Usami were more than what Misaki had said, and didn't want to confirm those suspicions.

"... Yeah. I mean no, um..." Misaki reached over for a random stack of notes, and started flipping through them absently in an attempt to distract himself.

"He forced you into things, didn't he?" Misaki inhaled sharply, and the papers fell from his fingers, scattering over all of his other work. There was no need to ask who 'he' implied, as it was fairly obvious.

"N-no, I never said-"

"You didn't have to." Nowaki's blunt reply was a bit surprising, as well as reminding Misaki once again just how weak his poker face really was. "He did, right?"

Misaki had no idea why Nowaki cared about it so much, but also didn't see any reason to lie. He paused for a moment before nodding once, slowly, a glazed expression in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring back anything uncomfortable or-" Nowaki looked around the room, noticing vaguely how none of his own possessions had been touched, and Misaki's own had hardly been moved from where they had been the night before.

"Ah... no, it's not that..." Misaki ran a hand through his hair in agitation, and gave a shaky sigh.

"Do you want to talk to me about it?" It was a simple question, but hit Misaki sharply in the chest. Whenever something was bothering him, Usami tended to ask him about it quickly or disinterestedly- and when Misaki refused to offer up any information (because he always did) Usami tended to drop the subject. Although Misaki didn't always want to discuss his feelings like a pathetic teenage girl, there were times when he genuinely did want to talk about it and didn't know how.

"Well, I..." Misaki tried to figure out what he wanted to say. "He's in a mental ward now. For... for hurting me." the words started tumbling out of his mouth after that. "And I'm kind of worried because he... he was drunk when he did it, and I don't blame him at all, but he's being punished for it, and..." Misaki paused, took a deep breath, then continued, "And if it goes to court, I know he really is guilty, even though I don't want him to be, and I don't know what would happen if-"

As Misaki had been talking, Nowaki had gotten up from his spot by the door and walked over to join him so that he was sitting next to Misaki. He hadn't really thought anything of it, until Nowaki cut off what he was saying by pressing his lips firmly against Misaki's. His first instinct was to run away, to fight it after how long Usami had forced this kind of contact with him.

Although he didn't exactly kiss Nowaki back, he didn't pull away either, and in fact relaxed into the other man's embrace.

Nowaki pulled away after a few seconds and Misaki looked away from him, blushing. Nowaki didn't say anything, so Misaki broke the silence by mumbling,

"W-why?" He didn't seem mad at Nowaki, more like he was just genuinely confused.

Because you're cute when you blush like that." the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them- and although he probably could have phased the statement better, it was basically the truth.

" I'm not cute..." Nowaki, however, disagreed, and smiled as he reached over to rustle Misaki's hair in a gentle gesture of affection.

"I made dinner, if you're interested." Nowaki said, making Misaki feel as though he was doing a terrible job at what he was supposed to be there to do.

"I thought you said if I stayed with you I'd do the cooking..." Nowaki's brows drew together.

"Sure, I said you could help me out- you didn't expect me to have you make every single meal, right?" That had been Misaki's agreement with Usami, and he had simply expected it to carry over to living with Nowaki.

"... you really did?" Misaki tried to brush it off, but Nowaki wasn't abut to let him. "Listen, I'm glad to accept the favor of you helping me out, but I'm not going to treat you like a slave." Nowaki chose his next words carefully.

"From what you've said, this 'Usagi-san' you stayed with doesn't seem very nice at all, but... do you really like him, despite that?" At first, Nowaki thought he had gone too far and that Misaki wouldn't answer him, but then he said, softly,

"I don't know anymore..." the weak sun slanting through the bedroom window sent sharp shadows criss-crossing Misaki's features, as though they were chains, somehow binding him to Usami. Nowaki didn't like it.

Misaki pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, so hard that Nowaki thought he was going to hurt himself.

"Are you okay?" Nowaki knew the answer he was going to get before he even asked.

"Ye-"

"I mean it. Are you really, truly okay?"

"I... I guess not. But I will be."


	6. Chaper Six

Misaki couldn't sleep that night. He lay tossing and turning, plagued by thoughts that refused to let him sleep. The fact that Nowaki had kissed him- twice- was the source of the majority of his stress. True, the doctor had taken him in when he had nowhere else to go, maybe taken him under his wing a bit, but he was shocked that the older man had actually... developed feelings for him?

There had been a few signs, he supposed, but they had been subtle. Whenever Usami wanted to declare his love for Misaki, he simply did. Usually regardless of time, surroundings, and whether or not Misaki wanted to hear it.

Misaki rolled onto his side, hugging his pillow tightly to himself. Just because both Usami and Nowaki seemed to like him, they were so completely different from each other that there was almost no logical way to compare them to each other.

Misaki rolled over agin, not realizing how close to the edge of the bed he was, and fell to the ground with a faint thump. The impact knocked the wind out of him, and he laid there for a moment, trying to force the air back into his lungs. As he was trying to catch his breath, he listened carefully to see if him falling had awakened Nowaki.

Thankfully, he didn't hear anything, but by the time he caught his breath he was already starting to drift off. Although the hard floor wasn't particularly comfortable, he didn't bother getting up and fell asleep right where he'd fallen.

The next morning, it was Nowaki's turn to wake up to the smell of cooking food. He sighed, and mentally noted to tell Misaki that just because he was staying there, that didn't make him Nowaki's slave.

When he entered the kitchen, he saw that Misaki was still in his pajamas, which he supposed meant he didn't have any early classes to hurry off to.

"Morning." Misaki said, his movements seeming oddly stiff- Not as though his movements were awkward, exactly, but rather like his muscles were sore.

"Morning... um, are you okay?" Misaki scooped oatmeal out of the pot on the stove into a bowl, and passed it to Nowaki as he said,

"I kind of fell out of bed, and ended up sleeping on the floor..." He got a bowl of oatmeal for himself, picking up a bowl of freshly-washed fruit and bringing it to the table before taking a seat himself.

"Oh, well that sounds... not fun." Misaki almost said that he was used to having much worse pain in the morning when he was staying with Usami, but refrained from doing so. Nowaki placed his own bowl on the table, but instead of sitting down he made his way behind Misaki and placed his hands on the younger man's shoulders. Misaki whirled around from the unexpected contact, confusion clear on his face.

However, as soon as Nowaki's fingers began to gently massage his tense shoulders, he couldn't help but relax into the touch. Misaki gave a gentle sigh of approval, as Nowaki's fingers sorted out the knots in his back and shoulders due to his uncomfortable sleeping position the night before.

The way Nowaki's fingers moved, gently rubbing his hands over Misaki's shoulders, was one of the best things he had ever felt. He was relaxed, to the point that he was almost becoming drowsy. Once all of the tensed muscles were relaxed, Nowaki allowed his fingers to linger a little longer than they needed to.

Then, to the younger's surprise, Nowaki wrapped his arms around the younger's chest and gave him a quick, innocent hug.

"Better?" Nowaki asked, his chin resting on Misaki's shoulder. Misaki nodded quickly, mumbling,

"Y-yeah, thanks..." Nowaki walked around the table to his own seat, and the two started eating in relative silence.

"So... do you not have any classes today?" Nowaki asked once his own bowl was nearly empty.

"I have two later this afternoon, but nothing until then." Misaki thought for a moment. "I still have a lot of make-up work to do, though, so I was thinking of heading to the university library early." Misaki cleared the empty dishes and was about to start washing them when Nowaki said,

"It's fine, I'll get the dishes- you can go get dressed and stuff." Misaki, although he was a bit hesitant, agreed, and decided to take a shower since he finally had time.

It was 11 AM when Misaki was finally ready to leave for the library. Nowaki bid him a quick good-bye and thankfully didn't try to kiss him (Which actually surprised Misaki a bit).

The bus ride to the university was uneventful, and he had about two hours to work by the time he arrived. He took a seat at an empty table, and took out all of the work he still had to get done.

He had barely started working, though when he could feel the eyes of the people around him staring at him. He glanced up, and saw practically every singe person in the library not-so-discreetly turn back to their work. What the heck? he thought, wondering what he had done that would cause everyone in the room to stare at him so intensely.

Misaki could still feel the pressure of people staring, and was also aware that the library was even quieter than usual, as though everyone had abandoned what they were supposed to be doing in favor of watching him, and the atmosphere seemed almost expectant, as though they expected him to say something.

SInce Misaki wasn't usually a paranoid person, he tried to brush it off as that the rumor he had been in the hospital had spread even further. He kept working diligently, and had nearly finished some notes for physics class when a girl he had never talked to before walked over.

"Um, excuse me, but... is it true?" She seemed hesitant, but Misaki didn't really notice that- he had no idea what she was talking about, or how to answer. After moment, he settled on,

"Pardon, but is what true, exactly?" The girl flipped her long, straight hair over her shoulder at leaned against the table Misaki was working at.

"The rumors- you know, how everyone's been saying you almost got killed?" Well, if that's the extent of what they've figured out, it's probably best to just use the same excuse as before...

"Oh... yeah, I was walking home, and I got jumped. I don't know what else people have been saying, but-" Misaki was painfully aware that, despite their hushed tone of conversation, nearly every one of the library's occupants was listening in.

"So, the rumor that your author friend-" Misaki cut her off, quickly becoming annoyed. He had come to get work done, not be interviewed about the stupid he-said, she-said rumors that had apparently spread like wildfire.

"No! Nothing else happened, okay? I was walking home, there was a shortcut through an alley, I got mugged by some idiot with a knife." Misaki glared at the girl, who gave a small squeak before returning to where she had priorly been sitting with her friends.

He turned his eyes back to his work, but couldn't focus. His face was warm, and he could imagine his cheeks being tinted red with rage at the girl- but really, he realized after he took a deep breath- it hadn't been that girl's fault. He was more upset at that she had known about Usami's involvement, which meant the rumors were probably much closer to the truth that Misaki had thought they would be.

Misaki rested his forehead on the table heavily, still unable to come up with the formula he would need for the next problem he was working on.

Despite how much work he still needed to get done, and how many eyes he could still feel staring at him, Misaki fell into a half-asleep daze a few minutes later.

Where would I be right now, he thought to himself, if none of this had ever happened? I'd probably be at home- Meaning Usagi-san's penthouse, and trying to get some work done while he would be... huh. Depends on the day. There's times he'd just be bugging me, or maybe he'd be professing his love in his usual over-dramatic manner- Or maybe, he'd be...

Misaki shuddered and sat up. He had been sitting in the same position for so long that his forehead had stuck to his paper, and he hastily peeled it off before anyone else around him noticed.

He checked his watch, realizing that he had spent most of his study time thinking about Usami. Misaki set back to work quickly after that, mostly to keep his mind occupied so that thoughts of a certain silver-haired author would stay out of it.

Before he knew it, it was time for his class to begin Although he hadn't gotten done with everything he had originally hoped to, he still managed to do enough that the mountain of make-up work didn't seen quite so daunting.

As soon as Misaki entered the physics classroom, all heads pivoted to look at him. He stared down at his shoes, fuming, as he made his way to his seat. Why the heck was it always him? First, he'd gotten constantly stared at because Usami insisted on driving him to classes- And now, he was being glared at because of some stupid rumor that probably had more truth to it than he would care to admit.

Misaki plopped down heavily into his seat, taking out his materials and waiting for class to begin. He could feel people staring at him the same way they had been in the library- the uncomfortable prickling as the hairs on the back of his neck stood up was quickly becoming a familiar sensation.

Once he class began, Misaki was able to pretend he was just being paranoid, and force himself to ignore it. However, he couldn't keep his thoughts from wandering.

'What would Usagi-san think', he thought to himself, 'I bet he would say I was just being paranoid, or that everyone simply couldn't stop staring at his Misaki because he was so...' Misaki couldn't think of an adjective that sounded like something Usami would use. 'And then, after saying something stupid he would kiss me and touch me and...' Misaki frowned. It seemed like most of his thoughts about Usami lately had been different from how they usually were. Before, he had always wondered what to buy for dinner that he would like, or other meaningless things like that. He wondered vaguely about the proverb, 'You don't realize what you have until it's gone'.

Since the incident of Misaki's stabbing, however, his thoughts seemed to have turned much more... serious, maybe. He worried a lot about what Usami would think about little things, unimportant everyday things that had never before seemed to be of consequence. Although he would probably never admit it, even to himself, Misaki missed Usami.

A lot.

"... Usagi-san?" Misaki sat curled up on his bed with his back against the wall.

"Miss me, Misaki?" there was a slight laugh to Usami's words, albeit a rather grim one.

"N-no, it's not that! I mean... I was just wondering what you've been doing?" No matter how much his young lover denied it, Usami could hear in Misaki's voice that he missed him.

"Nothing much. It's boring." he said, "I miss you."

"Um... yeah." Misaki tried to think of a reply, "But... besides that?" Misaki wrapped a lock of his short hair around his finger, watching it turn nearly purple before releasing it.

"The food is bad. I have to share a room with some old man. They aren't letting me write. There's no Misaki."

"They aren't letting you... write?" Although Misaki had assumed there would be a lot of restrictions, forbidding Usami to do what was both a job and a hobby seemed a little extreme. Not that Misaki minded the fact that it meant Usami wouldn't be allowed to write any perverted fiction, with him as the main character...

"No." Usami paused. "You know, Misaki, you never told me which friend you're staying with..." Just then, the apartment's front door opened and Misaki heard Nowaki enter.

"Usagi-san, I-I have to go. I'll talk to you later!" Misaki pressed the 'end call' button before Usami got a chance to reply.

He hadn't technically had to go, and he knew that next time he talked to Usami the older man would demand an answer to his question. However, he pushed the notion to the back of his mind and decided to go ask Nowaki how his shift had gone, as well as why he was home so soon, as he had only been at the hospital for at most six hours.

"Hey..." Misaki said as he walked into the kitchen. Nowaki was getting some food out of the refrigerator, and Misaki walked over to help.

"Oh... hey, Misaki. How was school?" Misaki was reminded of how his brother used to ask almost the exact same thing every day of elementary, middle, and high school.

"Well... let's just say, I guess word got out faster than I thought it would."

"Wait, what do you mean?" Nowaki stopped preparing dinner and turned to look at Misaki.

"Well... Usagi-san used to drive me to school almost every day, even though it isn't a far walk at all- So quite a few people knew we were at least friends..." Nowaki noticed that Misaki hadn't bothered to stop himself from using his nickname for Usami. "Since he's a famous author, I guess it would make sense that the press would hear something about it, and turn it into some huge scandal."

It was then that everything clicked in Nowaki's mind- Usami Akihiko, the one Misaki had been staying with, was in fact the famous author, winner of more awards than any other in a decade. That was why the name had sounded familiar when he had seen it written on the medical sheet at the end of Misaki's bed in the hospital...

Nowaki mentally slapped himself for now having out two and two together- it explained the excessive apartment, and Nowaki recalled reading in an article a while back that there were vague suspicions of him being homosexual.

"Um, are you...?" Misaki trailed off.

"I'm fine, sorry." Nowaki noted that Misaki probably assumed he had made that connection a long time ago. "Anyway- what are their rumors saying, exactly?" Misaki sighed.

"I'm not positive, I never heard all of it. I sort of... blew up at the girl who was asking me about it." Misaki remembered how he had full-on shouted at her- and despite the fact that it had felt nice to let his anger out at the time, he regretted not having figured out what everyone was saying about him.

"Oh. They figured out he was involved, then?" Misaki didn't have to ask who 'he' referred to, as it was fairly obvious to both of them.

"Yeah, but I just sort of told them the same lie I've been telling everybody- something about having gotten jumped in an alley." Nowaki smirked.

"They bought it?" Misaki shrugged. "And... who's 'everyone'?"

"Um... people at school, my brother..." Misaki tried to brush it off like it was no big deal, but it was clear that he felt bad about lying to his older brother.

"You haven't told your brother?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time- I mean, I know I'll have to tell him eventually, but it's just simpler this way. My brother and Usagi-san have been friends for a long time, and if he found out what happened..." Nowaki was unsure what emotion he was feeling, exactly, but he couldn't help but say sarcastically,

"What, you don't want him to find out that his best friend raped his little brother?" The expression that crossed Misaki's face was one of shock and horror.

"I... he hasn't... It's not exactly like that, Nowaki-san, he-" Nowaki crossed his arms and leaned against the counter.

"What do you mean, 'it's not like that'? I can tell by how you talk about him that whatever he felt- or feels- for you, it isn't and never has been mutual." Misaki looked down at his hands which were tightly clenched together, clearly uncomfortable with the topic Nowaki had brought up.

"I just... I don't know, really." Misaki stumbled over his words, unable to get the idea out properly. "I just think that if I had really asked him to stop, he probably would have. He was always really... forceful, I guess, so that was never exactly easy..." Nowaki frowned, clearly deep in thought.

"You sound like you're trying to make excuses for him now, you know. I may not be right, but just based on how you describe him- I don't think he would have stopped. The way to reacted when I kissed you- you didn't want any of what he gave you, right?"

"M-maybe not all of the time, but... why should it matter?" It seemed Nowaki ha pushed him just a bit too far, and Misaki had turned defensive.

"Look- I'm not saying you have to talk to me about it, but I just figured you'd want someone to be on your side in this. Am I right?" Nowaki wasn't sure what point he was trying to make, and was aware that his words didn't make much sense. But apparently, Misaki had understood his intentions because he said slowly,

"It's not that I don't want to talk to you, I... I want someone to be on my side, I really do. But, I don't want to bother you or have to rely on you too much, or-" Misaki was starting to ramble, ant cut himself off as soon as he realized he was doing so. Nowaki, on a sudden whim, closed the small space between them and pulled Misaki into what he could only hope was a comforting embrace.

Misaki didn't say anything as Nowaki's arms snaked around his back, or pull away as he would have in a heartbeat had it been Usami hugging him.

"You don't bother me..." Misaki could feel Nowaki's heartbeat and voice from where his face was buried in Nowaki's chest. "And it's perfectly fine to rely on people sometimes- no one can be strong all the time, so don't worry about it, okay?" Misaki took a deep breath, inhaling the clean smell he had come to know as Nowaki's own. He didn't pull away, instead mumbling into Nowaki's shirt,

"Okay..." Nowaki's arms unwrapped themselves from Misaki's shoulders, and he took a step back. Misaki's cheeks were splashed with a light pink from the close contact, and he avoided Nowaki's eyes, instead choosing to pick up where Nowaki had left off with chopping vegetables.

Seems like I've been 'not-strong' more often that not lately, though... Misaki narrowly avoided cutting himself with the knife three times before Nowaki took notice of how distracted his young charge still seemed, and offered to let him stir the dish that was cooking on the stove.

Despite the fact that now Nowaki was the one trying to avoid cutting his fingers, he still chanced a few glances in Misaki's direction. He still seemed distracted and deep in thought, despite Nowaki's reassurance that it would be okay- and, no matter how cheesy it sounded, that they would be able to get through all of it.

It only took a few minutes after that to get dinner on the table, and in what was becoming a habit between the two of them, neither spoke for a while. There were only a few bites of food left between the two of them by the time Nowaki broke the silence and asked,

"Are they going to let you see them? Usami-san, I mean." It was clear that Nowaki had picked up on that he was not welcome to use Misaki's nickname for him.

"Um... I'm not sure. I don't really know if I honestly want to see him yet, though. I-it's not that I'm scared of him, exactly, but..." Nowaki nodded.

"Well of course, I don't blame you at all, Misaki, not after what he did- he did try to kill you, after all." Misaki winced visibly at Nowaki's words. "I'm sorry, that didn't sound-"

"It's fine- I know he did, even if he didn't mean it, it just..." Misaki tapered off midway through the thought.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Nowaki looked at Misaki as though he had just spoken another language.

"Well, he was drunk, a-and I know he cares about me too much to do that if he were sober." Nowaki frowned.

"Even after all he's done to you, you still think he didn't mean any of it?" Nowaki seemed outraged that Misaki had even considered such a thing.

"Well... yeah, I've talked to him, and he always seemed..."

"Guilty? He is. Or hadn't you noticed?" Nowaki's words had turned bitter and sarcastic, beyond how Misaki had ever heard them in the short time they had known each other. It almost scared him, similar to how Usami's occasional drunken stupor would put him into a blind panic with the sole intention of getting away before Usami forced him to do things he really didn't want to do.

Misaki resisted the urge to get up and run. but only because the expression it Nowaki's eyes was so drastically different from the one that often haunted Usami's.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you- But it's true, he did try to kill you. And even if you don't want to admit it, that's going way too far for any relationship." Misaki couldn't think of a way of replying to that- Of course, he knew the whole thing wouldn't just blow over and go back to how things had been before, but that didn't stop a part of him from being in denial and wishing it could be that way.

After washing the dishes and putting away the leftover food, Misaki returned to his room as quickly as possible. He didn't even bother turning on the light, just walked over to his bed and lay down there, face- down in the near-darkness.

Meanwhile, Nowaki was pacing irritably in the next room over. He knew he had probably upset Misaki more than the situation had called for, but he hadn't been able to help it- Misaki constantly tried to turn a blind eye to anything related to his old landlord, as though he was scared of facing the full impact of what had been done.

Nowaki knew a lot of it would be difficult for Misaki to face- he didn't know the extent of Misaki's emotional damage, but could tell from what he had observed that it would Misaki take more than a few weeks to get over what had happened in its entirety.


	7. Chapter Seven

The following two weeks passed, for the most part, uneventfully. Misaki had talked to Usami on the phone a few more times, but none of these conversations lasted for more that a half-hour. The majority of these were filled with Usami complaining about how much he hated being where he was, and how much he missed Misaki. (Misaki suspected it really wasn't all that bad, and that the author was simply complaining as a matter of principle).

Misaki had long since caught up on his work from when he was in the hospital, and had managed to get through and entire period of Professor Kamijou's class without being hit in the head with an eraser.

The young college student's mood had improved considerably, until his brother decided to stop by for an unexpected visit- at Usami's notably empty apartment. Misaki had been sitting in Nowaki's living room, working on his homework, when his phone rang.

"Um... hey, Niichan." Misaki wondered absently why his brother was calling him.

"Misaki- I'm at Akihiko's apartment. I ended up in the area for business, and I was planning to surprise you, but I guess you're not here... Are you close by?" Misaki knew he owed it to his brother to tell him where he was really staying, but couldn't bring himself to do so.

"Um... Well, Usagi-san had to go on a trip for work, and I'm staying with a friend, so..." Misaki couldn't remember what exactly he had said to his brother, and prayed that his newest excuse would fit in with the rest of his lies.

"Oh- well, while I'm here, I figured we could go out for dinner or something. It's been a while since I've seen you, and..." Misaki couldn't believe that, as smart and successful as his brother was, he couldn't hear the lie in his little brother's voice.

"Sure, I know a place that's pretty good that's not too far from there, if you want?"

The two quickly finished making plans to meet at a restaurant a few blocks away from Nowaki's apartment, and Misaki cleared up his pile of homework before walking to the restaurant, as it was too close to need to ride the bus or catch a taxi. About fifteen minutes later, Misaki walked up to the small restaurant to see his brother already there.

His brother greeted him with a wide smile and a hug, as though it had been years instead of months since they had seen each other.

"How've you been?" Misaki asked, smiling.

"Oh, you know, same-old, same-old. But how about you- how's school been going?" Misaki was glad he wouldn't have to lie, answering,

"It's been good! Classes have been hard, but not too bad." Takahiro nodded in approval.

"And Akihiko's been fine, too?" Misaki looked away, frantically trying to calm himself down so that his voice wouldn't completely give him away.

"Y-yeah, he's been alright. Busy as ever." Misaki gave a nervous doubt that he knew would give him away, but apparently his brother was just as blissfully oblivious as he had always been, and didn't pick up on it.

"That's about what I expected..." Takahiro then put his hand on on of his brother's shoulders and looked him up and down. "Misaki, have you lost weight?" Misaki shrugged.

"I guess... It's probably just from when I was in the hospital, though, don't worry!" Actually, Misaki had noticed that as well; even before he had been in the hospital, he had still been losing weight due to normal college stress, as well as his faltering 'relationship' with Usami.

"Probably... you have been getting enough to eat, right?" Misaki nodded.

"I do most of the cooking for Usagi-san, anyway, so it's not like he's starving me or something- I'm fine, niichan." Takahiro already knew Misaki's agreement of doing cooking and housework for Usami, and wasn't concerned with it as Nowaki had been.

The two brothers went inside to sit down, and had ordered their drinks by the time the conversation picked up again.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming to visit earlier? I could have-" Misaki wasn't sure how to finish the sentence; even if he had known his brother was coming, he still would have been in the same situation, staying with Nowaki instead of in Usami's apartment.

"I just got a call earlier this week from my company that I would have to come, so I figured it could be a surprise."

"Oh, so you have a meeting or something?"

"A business conference, technically- but yeah, close enough." The rest of the meal went smoothly, with the two catching up on little things they had missed in each other's lives since they had last seen each other. It was nearly nine PM when they finally left, and Misaki's short walk back to Nowaki's apartment was uneventful.

He knocked on the door, only to receive no answer. I thought he said his hours would be getting better...?Misaki pulled his phone out of his pocket, thumb hovering over Nowaki's number. However, he changed his mind and decided to text him, in case he was busy at work.

'Hey- I went out for dinner, and it doesn't look like you're home so is there a spare key or something I could use?' Misaki hit send, then sat against the wall behind him. Even though he knew his phone would make noise when Nowaki replied, he checked it every few minutes anyways.

It was almost ten by the time Misaki finally saw Nowaki emerge from the elevator at the far end of the hallway.

"Misaki, why're you...?" Misaki stood up and stretched, his joints popping after having sat in the same place for so long.

"Um... my brother called to say he was in town so we went out for dinner- I figured you'd be back before I was, so..." Nowaki opened the door to let them into the apartment. "I texted you, but I guess you didn't see it, so I waited..." Nowaki sighed.

"I'm sorry- we got an emergency case just as I was about to leave, so I didn't see your text. How long were you sitting there?"

"Only about an hour or so-"

"You sat there for an hour? Geez... sorry about that." Nowaki ran a hand through his hair, which was already so messy that it didn't make much difference.

"It's fine, really..." Again, Misaki's habit of suffering in silence was coming to the surface.

"No, it's not- how about I just give you a key, so this doesn't happen again?" Misaki had actually considered asking this himself, but had refrained from doing so, since Nowaki was doing so much for him already.

"Yeah, that would probably be best." After rummaging through a few drawers, Nowaki found a spare key. Once that was taken care of, Misaki made his way to his room to go to bed as it was getting late, and he had a class early the next morning.

Before he fell asleep, however, he put the key Nowaki had given him onto a small, rabbit-shaped keychain with his key to Usami's apartment. He held out the keychain, looking at how the two keys hung there together. It felt to him like having a key to Nowaki's apartment had some significance beyond just the ability to come and go as he pleased; It was as though now they were officially living together, whereas before it had seemed more like Misaki would just be staying for a short while, as a casual guest.

That night was the first since Misaki started staying with Nowaki that he fell asleep easily, a light smile on his lips.

Takahiro stayed in Tokyo for a couple of days for his conference, and saw Misaki every day. By the time he left, Misaki was immensely relieved that Takahiro hadn't found out what his best friend had done to his little brother.

Since Misaki's week had been rather draining (he'd had an unusual amount of schoolwork as well as his brother's visit), Nowaki proposed they watch a movie. Although Misaki was fairly sure there must be some kind of ulterior motive behind it, or at least there would have been if it was Usami suggesting it, he agreed.

The two settled onto the couch with a bowl of popcorn between them, and picked a movie at random that seemed more like a low budget chick-flick than something either of them would really be interested in watching.

However, it actually wasn't as bad as Misaki had thought it would be- the beginning was a bit slow and the acting could have been a bit better, but by the heroine's dramatic sacrifice to save her boyfriend in the end, Misaki was embarrassed to feel empathetic tears prickling at his own eyes.

The popcorn bowl had been emptied and placed on the floor at some point, so there was nothing between them to keep Misaki from slowly scooting closer and closer to Nowaki throughout the movie. He was surprised to find that he hadn't even noticed Nowaki's arm around him, until the movie ended and Nowaki got up to turn off the TV.

Misaki moved to get up as well, but Nowaki returned and sat back down before he could, his arm returning to its previous place around Misaki's shoulders. Misaki pulled his knees up to his chest, and leaned subconsciously into Nowaki's touch.

"I don't think I ever said so, but... thank you, Nowaki-san." Misaki's sudden seriousness took Nowaki by surprise, and he turned to look at the younger man.

"For what? Letting you stay? I already said it's no big deal." Misaki shook his head, light brown hair moving slightly with the gesture.

"Yeah, for letting me stay, but also..." Misaki took a deep breath and tried to put his thoughts together in a way that wouldn't sound completely stupid. "For... being so nice to me. I mean, you didn't have to let me stay, but you did, and..."

"It's fine, it's really not a problem at all- and besides, I guess I didn't notice just how empty it was around here before." Misaki was taken slightly aback by this, his eyebrows drawing together. Usami had said he loved him, or was glad that he had come to stay, but never said that his house had seemed empty before Misaki's arrival.

"Really?" Misaki looked doubtful, as though at any moment Nowaki would burst out laughing or call out 'April fools!'- But he didn't, and instead, leaned even closer to Misaki so that he was resting his cheek against the top of Misaki's head.

"Yes, really." Misaki stared at the turned-off TV, trying to think about what that meant. If Nowaki really appreciated his arrival that much, then couldn't that mean the man had feelings for him as well? He had kissed Misaki -twice- so that had to mean something, right?

Misaki pushed his thoughts away, deciding that regardless of romantic feelings, he wanted to just sit there and enjoy this current moment of peace with Nowaki.

He really is working himself too hard... Nowaki thought as he looked down at the young man leaning on his shoulder, asleep. It was the second time Misaki had fallen asleep there- and although Nowaki knew the first time had been from sheer exhaustion, this time Nowaki got the genuine comfort of knowing that Misaki was comfortable enough around him to fall asleep so close to him.

No matter how much he would have wanted to stay laying there, Nowaki remembered Misaki's reaction the first time a situation similar to this one had occurred.

He resolved to get up and move to his own bed, but couldn't actually bring himself to do so. He felt himself starting to drift off to sleep, and his last coherent thought before drifting off to sleep was that he didn't particularly care how Misaki reacted, he was too warm and comfortable to move from that moment.

When Misaki awoke, there wasn't even the split-second confusion of thinking he might possibly be with Usami. Nowaki's embrace was so much warmer, and although it was only the second time he had woken up there he drowsily thought that he wouldn't mind waking up there more often.

... No. Misaki tried to push the thought away as he rolled over, momentarily forgetting that he was laying on a couch until he fell off of it and hit the ground with a dull thud.

Groaning, he got up and made his way to the kitchen. He was just getting out the ingredients to make omelets when Nowaki stumbled in.

"Y'know, you don't really have to make a huge breakfast. I have cereal and toast..." Misaki didn't particularly care what they had to eat, and to be perfectly honest, cereal sounded just fine with him.

In what was rapidly becoming a daily routine for the two of them, they ate breakfast and got ready for the day- Nowaki's new work hours went into effect that day, and he assured Misaki that he would try to be home by early evening.

Misaki didn't have classes until later that morning, so he checked his phone to see three missed calls from Usami. Although at any other time Misaki might have called him back right away, Misaki put his phone down and made a vague mental note to call the man later. He had probably just called because he was bored again, anyway, and wanted to bother Misaki. However, he wasn't particularly in the mood to deal with the author's unnecessary complaining.

Maybe in the grand scheme of things it wasn't very significant, but somehow, Misaki felt there was some kind of importance behind denying a chance to talk to his lover (ex-lover?) - or maybe, there was no real reasoning behind it at all and he was just over-thinking it. Either way, Misaki chose not to call Usami back, and in fact forgot about it entirely until later that evening, when he got home from school.

After having to deal with constant staring and questions for another whole day, he was pretty much at his wit's end (If he had been female, he probably could've been PMS-ing). He had become increasingly so, throughout the day until he returned home, only to see five more missed calls. He was seriously tempted to punch a wall.

When his phone rang again, Misaki didn't even check his caller ID before pressing talk and practically yelling into it,

"Listen, Usagi-san: I am not in the mood to deal with it. Just stop calling me and leave me alone! Seriously! I'm sick of it! In fact- I'm done with all of your stupid shit. Just knock it off! Actually... maybe you should just stop calling me altogether!" Misaki probably could have ranted on forever, before he heard the line go dead. It was then that he checked his recent calls, to see that the person that had called had been a telemarketer, not Usami.

He tossed his phone onto his bed, before flopping down face-first next to it. He had only been laying there in complete and utter embarrassment for a few minutes when his phone rang again. Expecting another pointless call from some telemarketer, Misaki checked the caller ID. Usami's name stared back, practically begging him to answer it. His ringtone had nearly ended when Misaki finally pressed the 'talk' button.

Despite his outburst only a few minutes earlier, Misaki didn't say anything. There was a silence before Usami said,

"... Misaki? Hello?" Finally, Misaki summoned a short, one-word answer.

"No." Neither said anything, until-

"What? It is you, isn't it?" It took all of the courage Misaki possessed to say what he did next,

"I mean... No, I don't want to talk to you. N-not now, or... or ever."

"Are you... breaking up with me?" Misaki could hear Usami's confusion, as well as a small amount of underlying amusement.

"... Yes." Misaki struggled to keep his voice even. "Or... for a while, at least." Misaki sat up, curling his knees up to his chest so that he could rest his chin on them.

"Huh." was all Usami said. Then, "- Well, I guess I don't blame you. I'm assuming this is my fault, anyways- and it was to be expected. I had just hoped you wouldn't..." Even though he was the one initiating it, Misaki still felt a part of him crumble. "But you know, if you change your mind-"

"NO!" Misaki took a deep breath to try to calm his outburst. "N-no... I won't." There was a brief moment's hesitation, before the line went dead. Usami had hung up, and even though Misaki hadn't done anything wrong, he still felt guilty. Maybe it was because of how possessive Usami had always been, but he felt like a weight had lifted from him while simultaneously feeling like he was being crushed.

He didn't try to fight it- tears started streaming down his face as he felt his heart break. He felt the same when Usami hung up the phone as he had when Usami had stabbed him- if he had been lost before, now he was lost, blind, and deaf beyond repair.

He wanted to scream, but at the same time he wanted to curl up in a corner and not do anything. His thoughts were still in a downward spiral when Nowaki, true to his word, returned home early.

"Misaki?" He didn't answer. "Are you here?" Again, nothing. Misaki could hear him walking down the hall and knocking on the door, but it seemed as though the noise was distant, and couldn't bring himself to pay it any attention.

It was only when the bedroom door opened that Misaki managed to drag himself out of his mind and back to the real world. However, he couldn't stop his pathetic sobbing for long enough to say anything, or even do more than hiccup slightly.

"Misaki... what's wrong?" Nowaki took a seat on the edge of the bed, putting a hand over Misaki's slumped- over shoulder, silently asking him to look up. Misaki slowly raised his puffy, red eyes before saying in a monotone, hoarse voice,

"We... broke up. Officially." Nowaki didn't hesitate to readjust himself so that he could hug Misaki, pulling the younger's head in towards his chest, rubbing his back in a way he could only hope Misaki would find soothing.

Misaki was shaking slightly in his arms, and Nowaki knew that the boy he had thought to be fragile before had found his breaking point.


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the final chapter of my re-posting of 'Chance Encounter: Junjou Optimist'. I hope anyone who read to here enjoyed it at least a little, and feel free to leave me a comment telling me what you thought- what you liked, hated, thought could be changed, and all that fun stuff ^^

It had taken Nowaki a while to finally get Misaki to stop shaking, although he knew that Misaki was still far too upset to elaborate on what had happened. What Misaki did when he finally pulled away from Nowaki's arms, however, was the last thing he woud have ever expected the man to do- Misaki threw himself forward, and his lips met Nowaki's with more force than Nowaki would have thought possible for him.

Maybe it was just the pain of the break-up, but there was a sudden passion behind his actions that definitely hadn't been there in either of their previous two kisses. Although it was clear that Misaki still expected Nowaki to dominate, there was a willingness there that Nowaki hadn't expected.

"Sorry..." Misaki mumbled, "I just-"

"It's fine." Nowaki rustled Misaki's hair, a gesture that reminded Misaki so much of Usami that he almost burst into tears again, and as it was, a single tear trailed down his cheek.

Nowaki almost commented on how cute Misaki looked, but knew that the words wouldn't sit well with Misaki at the moment and kept them to himself.Wait... cute? Why of all things am I thinking of that? He just got broken up with, he doesn't need that-

Misaki looked down and started playing with the sleeve of his shirt, and the dazed-over expression in his eyes showed that he was deep in thought.

"Did I do the right thing?" Misaki asked softly. It was then that it dawned on Nowaki- he hadn't even considered the possibility that it had been Misaki to break up with Usami, although it made a certain amount of sense. Or at least, it clarified why Misaki had been acting oddly- if he wasn't sure he had done the right thing by dumping his older lover, it only made sense that he would feel conflicted and a bit confused.

"Yes, Misaki- I think you did. I really do." Misaki glanced up, probably testing if Nowaki really meant what he said, and Nowaki saw brown orbs that were filled with self-doubt and worry.

"I... I did love him. Even if I didn't say it." a weak, wavering smile hinted at his lips. "But... I think it's better this way." Nowaki nodded, and brought up a hand to trace gently down Misaki's jaw, wiping a few remaining tears away with his touch.

"It is better- or it will be, eventually, even though it hurts now." Misaki nodded but didn't answer. "Do you want me to go?" Nowaki fully understood if Misaki wanted to be alone with his thoughts for a while, but was surprised when Misaki shook his head and reached over to lay his hand atop Nowaki's, which was resting atop the bed.

"I'm sorry for being such an idiot about this..." Misaki ran his other arm roughly over his eyes, which were threatening to brim over with tears yet again

Nowaki casually laid down, propping his head up on one arm. Misaki didn't change position, still sitting with his knees pulled in to his chest.

"H-how was work?" Misaki asked shakily. Nowaki could tell he was just trying to change the subject, and gladly let him.

"It was fine- a lot different from working at night, since there were more injuries, whereas most kids who come in at night are sick..." Nowaki continued telling Misaki little unnecessary things about his day until the brunette relaxed enough to lay down next to him.

More time than he had noticed had passed, and it was later than Nowaki had realized. Misaki was clearly emotionally exhausted, and Nowaki watched as his eyelids grew heavy and the conversation between them faltered. Before Misaki drifted fully off to sleep, he mumbled,

"Thank you, Nowaki-san, for everything..." Nowaki smiled, pressing a quick, chaste kiss to Misaki's forehead and replying,

"You're welcome, Misaki."

The next few days passed relatively smoothly, despite Misaki having more mood swings than a PMS-ing teenage girl. One moment he would seem happy and glad he was officially out of his poisonous relationship, while the next he seemed so depressed that Nowaki was scared he might consider suicide. It had been nearly a week since Misaki had last spoken to Usami when an argument arose between him and Nowaki.

Misaki had been feeling rather strained anyways (for obvious reasons) and Nowaki's casual offhand comment hit him like a slap in the face. Nowaki knew it was uncalled for, and hadn't meant to let it slip out, yet he accidentally said-

"Misaki... why did you love him? What did you ever love about such a bastard?" Misaki, who had been trying to answer that same question himself for a long time, couldn't help feeling infuriated by the calm, casual way that Nowaki posed the question. Although Nowaki hadn't meant to be so harsh, especially when he knew Misaki was so sensitive about the subject, but at the same time genuinely wanted to know just what had initially drawn the two together.

Misaki, however, didn't see it that way. He stormed off to his bedroom, tears already forming once again in his eyes.

Why... Why would he say that? Even if he did just let it slip, it was still uncalled for. He knows that's still a sore spot for me, and- Misaki, his thoughts clouded by anger, did the first thing he could think of to distract himself and picked up his cell phone.

He thought he was imagining things at first, when he saw twenty-seven text messages from Usami. From the Usami he was supposed to have severed ties with. From the very same man that was at this minute supposed to be behind bars in a mental asylum for attempted murder...

There weren't any missed calls though, as though Usami knew he wouldn't pick up and didn't even bother trying.

Misaki scrolled through the messages numbly, reading the one that had been sent first.

'Misaki- I know you don't want to talk to me. But I was able to pull a few strings and convince them I was sane, so I'll be coming home.' Misaki's eyes widened as he read the message again, shocked and horrified. In a daze, he selected the next message.

'I don't know if you'll avoid me now, I know you're at least a little scared of me, but even though we broke up I still hope you were just mad and you'll come back home.'

Come... back? Misaki shook his head furiously- there was no way, after all that Usami had done to him, that he could possibly go back there.

But... even though they had broken up, even though Misaki had absolutely no reason to go back, he still felt drawn to return. No matter how brutal Usami could be- how cold, rough, and seemingly uncaring he felt, he almost longed to go back. There was no real reason for it- maybe his feelings for the older an just hadn't changed as much as he thought they had, or maybe it was just his raging emotions clouding all logical thought.

Misaki picked up his phone, and read through the rest of the messages from Usami, before pulling back his arm and throwing his phone as hard as he could against the opposite wall. The battery fell out, but besides that both the phone and the wall looked unharmed.

"Why...?" he mumbled to himself, "Why the hell do I want to go back? I lefthim." Misaki, feeling yet another sudden wave of anger, pulled himself off of his bed and stumbled towards the door, tears threatening to blur his vision.

Nowaki was sitting against the opposite side of the hallway just outside Misaki's room, clearly anticipating that he didn't plan to stay in there for very long.

"Misaki, I-" Despite that Nowaki's expression gave away that he was clearly very sorry, Misaki wasn't in the mood to deal with it and stormed past him.

Before he even really knew where he was going, he had stormed out of Nowaki's apartment, not stopping to put his shoes on properly and running blindly down the street.

It was a cold night, and each shuddering breath that he inhaled seared his lungs with freezing air. By the time he finally stopped running, he found himself only a few blocks away from Usami's penthouse. It was almost as though his body knew, simply by muscle memory, that that was where he needed to go, despite the fact that he knew it was a bad idea to even go near Usami.

However, Misaki's emotions were so scattered and confused that he didn't even stop to consider he might be making a mistake before he continued, pausing only briefly before making his way inside. It was only as he was riding up to the top floor in the elevator that the full impact of what he was doing slammed into him.

He couldn't do this, no way, there was no way he could go back, no way he could face Usami after all f the abuse he had suffered at his hand. Usami was unstable- had tried to kill him- and there was no way he would welcome Misaki back after that, no matter what he said in his text messages-

The innocent ding of the elevator doors opening startled Misaki out of his thoughts, and he made his way to the penthouse door as though he was stuck in a dream.

Pulling out his key (which was still on the same keychain as Nowaki's), putting it into the keyhole- actions he had done a hundred times, but never had his hands been shaking so badly or his breath so ragged and uneven as he did so.

For a moment, it almost seemed as though none of it had never happened- the lights were on, and there was a faint smell of cigarette smoke in the air as well as the rare aroma of Usami's rather poor hesitated, before calling out,

"U-Usagi-san?" his voice cracked, from the sheer terror of being back there, and in that moment he wanted nothing more than to run all the way back to Nowaki's apartment and curl up in his bed there. Not that his legs, in their current frozen state, would listen to the danger signs his mind was putting out.

"Misaki?" Usami's head poked out of the kitchen, looking the same as always- same albino pale hair and purple amethyst eyes, and a cigarette as always clasped loosely between his lips. "You... came back."

"I... um, yeah, I'm back." Misaki looked down, hands clenched in front of him, feeling suddenly self-conscious about the whole situation. Without a second's hesitation, Usami closed the space between them, pinning Misaki's hands against the wall above his head and kissing him with a choking passion that Misaki, for the first time he could remember, didn't fight against.

There was almost a feeling of relief behind Usami's actions, as though he was a starving man finally given food. And maybe a part of Misaki had been starving as well, not that he had realized it until that moment. Maybe it made him a masochist, but as he hesitantly began to kiss Usami back, he knew that he had kissed the man's force and brutality more than just a little bit.

Usami grabbed Misaki's hand and dragged his toward the couch, not wasting any time in moving his kisses to Misaki's collarbone. It was only when Usami glanced up for a moment that Misaki noticed something in the man's eyes that could never, not even for a second, be mistaken for lust- it was, in a word, insanity. It scared Misaki more than anything before, and he began fighting against Usami's passionate advances.

He wouldn't let go, however, his iron grip seeming if anything even firmer than usual. Any slight longing Misaki had held for the man was gone, replaced by complete and utter terror at what would inevitably happen next.

After Misaki ran out of the apartment, Nowaki did the first thing he could think of- ran after him. He genuinely hadn't meant to make the boy so upset, and couldn't help but feel responsible. He was careful to keep enough distance between them that Misaki wouldn't notice him, but also stayed close enough that he could tail where he was going.

He was out of breath and just starting to wonder how much longer Misaki could run when Misaki stopped, presumably to catch his breath. It was then that it clicked in Nowaki's mind the only place that Misaki could possibly be going, back to Usami. But there's no way he'd actually-

Misaki straightened up and kept running, but now that Nowaki knew where he was going he didn't bother to chase after him quite yet, instead waiting until Misaki was well out of sight to continue walking in that direction. It didn't make much sense why he would go back to his ex-lover's empty penthouse, but Nowaki figured it was probably just a mindless decision in his moment of anger.

As he walked, the full impact of his own words slowly caught up with him-Why the hell did I say that, anyway? It was completely uncalled for, and it would obviously make him upset... What the hell, Nowaki?

It didn't take him long after that for Nowaki to reach Usami's building, and he decided to go in and at least try to talk to Misaki- he owed the younger man an apology, and his behavior was scaring him a little, running off to what used to be such a hostile environment.

The elevator doors opened to show that the penthouse door was already open before him. It was a slight surprise, but he didn't mind- after all, it saved him the trouble of knocking. What really surprised him were the odd noises he could hear through the open door.

"No! I... I said get off of me! You're crazy! Usagi-san, listen to me!" Wait... 'Usagi-san'? did that mean he wasn't in fact locked up where Misaki had said he was? Nowaki ran through the door, fueled by this notion, following the sound into a spacious living room.

He was both surprised and confused to see an unfamiliar, white-haired man who could only be Misaki's (ex?) lover. The man was on his hands and knees over Misaki, who was pinned down by his wrists and the larger man hovering over him.

"N-Nowaki-san?" Misaki froze in his struggles, eyes widening and cheeks flushing even further at his compromising position.

"Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my house?" A deathly growl rumbled from Usami, his violet eyes flashing with murder.

Misaki's initial shock wore off, and he used Usami's distraction to try to pull himself free of his captor's grip. Usami's grasp noticeably tightened, however, and Nowaki saw Misaki clearly mouth the words, 'help me?'

"Who am I?" Nowaki crossed his arms across his chest, voice deadly serious. "I don't think that really matters. But what is important is that you escaped... from a mental ward. And you are also currently trying to rape the person you previously tried to kill." Usami's glare darkened considerably more, and his hands were now so tight on Misaki's wrists that it was sure to leave bruises.

"Kill him? I never tried to k-kill him..." a decidedly insane smile replaced his smile. "He's mine, that's all. And nobody else can have what's mine. Not you, not anyone." Misaki managed to speak up then, having found his voice after having been shocked into silence.

"I'm not... yours." he mumbled, trying to make his words sound firm. "You're crazy. Please... let me go." Misaki finally pulled one hand free of Usami's iron grip, and on a rush of adrenaline, managed to punch Usami in the face. It wasn't enough to really hurt him, but it definitely shocked him into twisting Misaki's other arm, and a resounding snap broke through the air.

Misaki let out a strangled scream, and it was clear that his wrist was broken- Misaki's face paled from the pain, and he visibly gritted his teeth.

"Misaki-!" Nowaki took a few steps forward, but halted when Usami continued pulling on Misaki's now- injured wrist, making it obvious that he shouldn't get any closer if he didn't want to see Misaki hurt any further. Usami looked up, the murderous glint in his eyes more obvious than before and he mumbled two words:

"Get... out." Misaki, still pinned to the couch, looked between the two other men, trying to discern what was going to happen.

"Let go." Nowaki said, his voice more terrifyingly serious than Misaki had ever heard it. "Now. You know full well that what you're doing is wrong- If you really loved him, you would never hurt him like this." Nowaki took another step forward, and this time Usami's grip relaxed, just slightly.

"Of course he loves me, though! Why else would he have come back, hmm? Why, Misaki?" Usami looked down, but Misaki turned his head to avoid the albino's eyes.

"I'll tell you why." Nowaki answered. "I've been with him this whole time, when no one else was. I stayed! He came back because I said some stupid shit I shouldn't have, but really- You didn't come back because you love him, did you, Misaki?" Misaki was now avoiding the eyes of both men that were looking at him.

"Nowaki-san, I-" Misaki took a deep breath, composing himself. "-that's true. W-why I came back here, I mean. Usagi-san, I..." Misaki didn't get a chance to finish, because before he could see what was happening, Usami's hands were around his neck, squeezing tightly, constricting his airway. He tried to inhale and couldn't, he couldn't breathe, he needed air-

"You're mine! No one else's! And if they try to take you away, I'll... I'll kill..." Nowaki sprung forward, his fist crashing into Usami's face- once, twice, three times, until he released his grip on Misaki. He sucked in a much-needed breath of oxygen, and by the time he had caught his breath Nowaki had dragged Usami off of him and was beating the man with everything he had.

No matter how much he knew that Usami deserved it, he still cried out,

"S-stop! Nowaki-san! Don't!" Nowaki froze instantly, looking up grimly at Misaki, who was still perched on the couch. Nowaki seemed to realize what he was doing and stood up. Usami sat up halfway, one hand over a split lip and bloody nose.

"Sorry, Misaki... Here, how about we put him in his room and call for help?" Misaki nodded; there were so many emotions flooding him that he needed Nowaki's help to get up and move to the kitchen table.

Nowaki left, then returned a minute later and assured Misaki that Usami was locked in his room. As the evening's adrenaline started to wear off, Misaki became more and more aware of the pain in his wrist, which was still sitting at a rather unnatural angle.

"Do you have the number for the mental ward?" Nowaki rummaged through the freezer and pulled out some ice, then sat in the chair next to Misaki and reached for his wrist.

"I don't think so- well, maybe it was in my phone, but..." Misaki shook his head, remembering that his phone was on the floor in his room at Nowaki's apartment. "It's broken, right?" Misaki asked as Nowaki placed ice on his wrist. Nowaki nodded, a look of loathing on his face.

"I just don't get it... I don't see how he could claim to love you, then hurt you like this." Misaki half-shrugged; he was still in a state of shock from the evening's events, and it seemed as though his mind was forcing his thoughts away from analyzing what had happened.

"Misaki?" he looked up. "Are you alright? I mean... really." Misaki swallowed down the lump that threatened to form in his throat.

"T-thank you..." Misaki said, not quite answering Nowaki's question. "If you hadn't come, I... I don't know. He would have hurt me. Worse than this." It was clear that Misaki was implying Usami's rather obvious plans to rape him, and Nowaki simply said-

"You're welcome. Misaki, he... he's crazy. I don't even want to think about what would have happened if I hadn't followed you." Nowaki had somehow found a first aid kit that was kept under the sink, and began wrapping bandages around Misaki's wrist. "At least now they'll keep a closer eye on him once he goes back. Although how he even managed to get out in the first place..."

Nowaki finished putting a temporary bandage around Misaki's arm in an attempt to immobilize it, then called the police and informed them of the situation. Once he got off of the phone, he didn't take even a moment's hesitation before placing his hand on Misaki's jaw, tilting it up slightly, and pressing their lips together.

Misaki froze for a moment, before slowly melting against Nowaki. The kiss quickly turned heated, and it was then that Misaki could tell, in that moment, what exactly made Usami and Nowaki so different- Nowaki loved him.

And Misaki loved him, too.


End file.
